Friday, 9 May 2014

Ok.... i know i said every day, but when i have finished my art doodle for a day, and done all the other things there is very little time left, plus i still think that i have had very little to offer in the way of anything nice to read. ( though somehow i guess that s not a real excuse since i used to do this everyday, but i have done my hand journal )
The past week has seen me trying to keep up with my organisation skills ( not very well) fighting off asthma attacks ( due to pollens and paint) and trying to remember where i have left my gloves for washing up. After looking for them for ages it seems , one has turned up on the living rooms window... the other is still missing in action, or glove napped by someone.  ( i guess that i will just have to get some new ones again)
The weather has not made up its mind what it wants to do at the moment, one moment heavy showers and the next it is sunshine, but always with a nice breeze that will get the washing dry quicker than any tumble dryer if i pay attention and don't leave it in to many showers.
My grumpy cat project  is closer to being cut out , but i am trying to pick a day when i don't feel to stressed so i do not spoil the fabric.... and the leather hood  that i also decided to make is beginning to form , i just need to cut a pattern out of news paper and then i will be the proud owner of one red gimp hood when it is all stitched together. ( these two projects came together when Master mentioned in passing that he would like a grumpy cat to sit on his computer , for some reason He seems to like this miserable looking animal, and so i decided to make one from fleece and fill it with beans so it was pose able , and the red hood came about because i felt i got a bargain from a car boot market when i got a carrier bag overflowing with red leather off cuts for a minimal amount of money.  i have to make something out of it. )
Anyhow have a good Friday

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Monday, 5 May 2014


 Today has seen a very sore and tired me after trying to do so much in the last few days, and being told to rest by Himself because my legs have been so painful. It got to the stage that by tea time my knee kept locking and i was worrying . Master did not say a word of i told you so to me but instead ran me a hot bath and heated me a towel...... Sometimes a hug like this speaks greater volumes than a load of words. i am just one lucky girl. ( but i guess playtime has been put back again)
Hope you all had a good Sunday
hugs saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Sunday, 4 May 2014

 Well as promised here is Saturday's blog. i wont lie, i almost didn't get on here to do this , as today has kept me so busy with all sorts of extra things and i feel really worn out. Good thing about today include that  i heard that my father is potentially cancer free again, after another burst of chemo sessions, ( we will know for definite in six weeks ) The chemo always seems to bring out a fight in him though and i am just glad for him that it was only a short course of it this time .
i have also managed to prepare most of the back garden flower beds for the brightly coloured gems that Master and i have chosen so far, saving just the one to do for tomorrow..... as it will give me something to focus on whilst Master and my middle son finish the decorating that they are doing.
Speaking of decorating i feel eternally grateful that is has been a warmish day today as we have had to have all the windows open upstairs to rid the house of the painty fumes. ( my asthma does not seem to enjoy the freshly painted rooms that much and has already been playing up due to the pollen. )
i am trying desperately to keep it under control as i know that if it is not , there will be not a chance of play for me next week either and i miss the light caress of His canes , although i have noticed that the wooden spoon has suddenly appeared upstairs so maybe i will be lucky and have a bite from that tonight.
Have a good rest of the day all
the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Saturday, 3 May 2014


 Today was good , we ( Master and i ) went to the market to buy our fruit and Veg and Master got some baby lavender plants for a project that He has planned to do in our garden. ( i also brought Him a baby dahlia  ( just because i like the colours of it)
Life at the moment seems to be very content and i have to try hard not to rock the boat and make it stormy again. Tuesday is bringing more visits for bloods etc and hopefully a coffee afterwards , but in the mean time we have three lovely holiday days to rest and relax and hopefully get some decorating done.
For this month i have set myself the task of trying to grow a full set of nails... ( no easy task when i forget to place the gardening gloves on when pulling weeds or the washing up ones on when doing the dishes. ) Also to drink at least four bottles of the water, and to journal every day , even if there is nothing much to say. Out of all of them probably the writing one is the one i am least likely to succeed in. ( BUT i am determined. ) Have a good rest of the Friday all .
(time nine twenty seven pm)

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Monday, 28 April 2014

stolen meme

  What is your occupation?
mum...wife... slave... what ever He chooses...(it was preschool teacher when i used to work.)

2. What colour are your socks right now?
White fluffy ones with pink and green spots on them.

3. What are you listening to right now?
Chickens and a loud tick of a clock.

4. Last thing you ate?

5. Can you drive a stick shift?
Not officially.

6. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
(only one?) ok  gold

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
My daughter

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Didn't have it sent but spotted it and "borrowed " it

9. How old are you?

10. Favourite drink? 
green tea

11. What is your favourite sport to watch?
Rugby or football.... and i am very verbal watching both

12. Have you ever dyed your hair?
The hairdresser does it these days, but yes in the past

13. Pets?
One spoilt husky

14. Favourite food?

15. What was the last movie you watched?
Dispicable me
16. What was the last book you read?
The hobbit , because i needed to make sure i wasn't going mad when i thought that the film was so different to the actual book.

17. What do you do to vent anger?
depends... walk with the dog or beat the pillow up.

18. What was your favourite toy as a child?
  A chad valley Jacko monkey.

19. What is your favourite season?
Spring time... all the new life. 
20. Hugs or kisses?

21. Cherries, Blueberries or Strawberries?

Ronnie, thanks , i stole it from you x

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Tuesday, 22 April 2014

what , i thought holidays were stress free.

 What a manic few days......
But , first before i start an apology to morningstar, atm = at the moment. ( i am for ever getting wrong for using shortened English and shouldn't have done it. ) And ummm , i kind of pressed the wrong button and deleted the rest of your comment. Sorry.
We have had a real busy weekend, including some  hiccups and a few drama moments... Two of the children descended on Easter Saturday, and so much laughter was had by us all , despite being young grownups i find they still want eggs... and our daughter brought some over also. ( during the drama , noise and confusion , i forgot to give one out to our egg man ( he brings chicken eggs each week so they don't get cracked on the way home from the grocery store ~ it started one year as a joke, and has gone on ever since. ) When the young ones had gone on their different ways ( to parties and dinners) Master and i sat down for a well earned rest and chat. i learnt that He has not given up on the yellow folder idea, He just does not feel that it is the right time to give it out at the moment , and is waiting because there are certain things that need to be put into place before i can begin it. ( i guess i can be patient )
Sunday saw us dining on a giant roast turkey , and much fun and laughter happening with the three of us in our house. It was lovely to eat dinner, wear silly party hats and watch a film, just taking in time with Master and the middle one.
Monday saw a visit to the garden centre  , where we found out our post had been going missing again in a round about way. Master choose a load of brightly coloured flowers to plant in the beds that i had been preparing over the holiday period, and some other bits and pieces , including  a few paint brushes and wall fixings... We went to the till to pay, and His card was rejected.. this actually brought panic on to me because i knew we had well over enough to pay for the plants and stuff three times over and told the lady so. Master said that He would go to the cash machine to withdraw the funds as sometimes the till readers are cranky, and the card told Him to contact the bank as soon as possible. ( but would not allow Him any money. By this time i was really panicky, worrying that the thing had been cloned or, hacked or something and worrying about our bills etc...
We returned home after apologising to the shop till worker, ( He would not let me use my bank cards ) and Master headed for His Internet banking. He had been locked out of this as well. On phoning up the number on the card, He was eventually  told that they had changed the bank account and sent Him a new letter about this, and that they had also sent Him a new card separately as the old one would become void after a month.... We had not received these... and it turned out that this is now the fourth letter (important one) that we know of that has not been delivered to our house....As we have got other peoples mail through our door and a new post lady i can only conclude that she has sent out things ( including Master's new bank card) to another house. ) It does not give me much hope for the British postal system and i know that i would not like to be in her shoes when Master has to complain again.
Today has been spent with a trip to the health service people and now resting , and trying to update my neglected blog. i hope you all had a better Easter holiday than we did .

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Saturday, 19 April 2014

Updates... maybe not.

 For days the new list has sat on the office window sill, tempting me to look at it, taunting me to try and read a few bits of it.... and today i has gone..... i have seen where He has placed it... (neatly under the little printer brought from a thrift shop, )but in truth i am starting to not want it.
Don't get me wrong , i am still a stubborn , pig headed , submissive slave, and definitely His and His alone. but i am finding more and more , where there was the burning curiosity to want to read it and follow the instructions, now i am more worried that i am so used to making my own decisions and not having a list, that i will fail it dismally when and if i ever do get it.
( for those who can not do mind reading , i am talking about my list of instructions that Master made me for the start of 2014 , which  for one reason or another have not made it to me to be carried out.) i have tried using the old ones, not the same if there is no comment on them..i tried for weeks to peep at the new ones , (managing to read a few words , but not really making sense without the whole picture) Now i don't want to look.
i justify this mind frame in my mind by dedicating everything that i do to the best of my ability to making His and my family comfy, but it is hard .. and the list was easier.. maybe this old bird can learn new tricks , who knows... but for now i am off to garden and pull the weeds.
have fun all .
ps it is 10:49 am here atm morningstar .

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 10 April 2014

 i know that i should probably be blogging , but, i really don't know what to blog about at the moment. Life is passing by at a kind of haze, and i still look forward to winning / earning the silly yellow folder. i know that Master has written some guide lines out there to help me , i can see them if i glance over to the window sill... several times i have thought about looking at them, but they are not really mine to read yet, so i have resisted.
i don't know why he is waiting to give them to me.. every time i have asked i have the sneaky feeling that the time i am going to have them has been put back , and eventually i guess part of my inner body will reject them and not want them. Yet i know i do at the moment.. It is like a child or dog wanting to have something and being told no.
i think what makes it harder for me to accept is that i don't know the reason why he is with holding them, and i am having to fight the a battle with myself to resist asking again. ( the time that i have asked i felt the answer was glossed over.)
i guess the only thing that i can do is wait and see what happens ............
take care all and have a good Thursday

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Today has been good , we (as in Master and i got out and about and managed to find a bargain at the local charity shop of a mini printer ) We have two already, which are great , but they are so fiddly to work and if you just want a picture quick they are not  always economical ( in time wise at least) to set up and print. So Master had been looking into getting a new one , but the emphasis at the moment seems to be on the bigger the better. This little one will suit His needs well.
While we were out Master decided that we should  have lunch, ( and i had forgotten my meds) So when He came to ask why i was not taking it i had to fess up that i had removed it from my bag and had not put any new ones in. (Sighs... i need to get used to taking the silly tablets , but i was the one to suffer as the pain killers had worn off and i didn't have any new ones. ) He did threaten to give me 100 lines as to the tune of i should not be a plonker and forget my meds ..... but thankfully He didn't..i know that i wont be so lucky next time and so i better put a spare set of tabs in each of my bags so i don't get it wrong again.
Life here today has been good as the sun is out, but then so is the pollen and with it bringing a new set of problems .. ahhh well it has to be better than the dust pollution we had last week , at least the dog and i can go walking early in the morning before the count rises to high.
Have a good rest of the day all... i am a little on edge as i think may maintenance may be spreading its way to me tonight as Master seems to be so much better today... ( part of me wants it, the other part dreads it as my body had gone so long with out it , i think i am back in control. muhahahahaha)

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Sunday, 6 April 2014

a maybe silly question.

 A question for all you slaves, submissive s or those of you in DD relationships... Who or where do you go to when you need an ear about your relationship, whether it is just to talk, or to ask what seems a weird question, ( such as whether that certain feeling was the norm , or which toy is best , or ..........) and i could go on and fill this post up with 101 questions with only the answers that i should know considering how long i have been in this lifestyle.
i guess what i am trying to say is that i miss having a sister/friend that i can talk about the lifestyle with ( my sister who i used to chat about new things , and old for that matter passed away.....) We do not live in a community where there are munches and i don't find that it is something that you can bring into everyday conversation.
As much as i love my Master , there are sometimes that i miss another person who is potentially a bottom , to talk to about our lifestyle. Sometimes it feels like a big secret that should always remain hidden from the world... and i get sad about this , as i always felt it was quite natural.
Anyhow i hope all you readers are well.... me i have been ill again.. The dust storms are bad for my asthma and i have spent a week and half housebound as the air quality was rubbish.
Have a good Sunday all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Saturday, 29 March 2014

 Saturday, has brought the sunshine back and a feeling of calm with me. Master still has His beard ( which i am loving) but i know the days of Him keeping are numbered as He is talking about going to have a shave and hot towel at a local barbers. i felt guilty today as  the sun is out and despite this i am not out in the garden preparing to be another room to our house. In my defence i feel tired today, and stiff from the exercise and yoga that i have been doing extra to my normal routine.
i guess that my Nan would have said get straight back on the routine and keep up the work of what caused the muscles to feel this way in the first place , but i don't want to over work the good work that Master and i have put in with my joints and have to have more months of physio for them.
The dog has been funny today, placing all her toys in one corner of the room and then on the seat as if she was reserving it for herself. In truth she probably gets fed up with laying on a bed full of stuffed toys and spring has come so maybe she has the nesting instinct.
As for my nesting instinct, the spring clean routine has been going well, Master even noticed that the bathroom has been extra sparkly of late ( but still the decorating is not finished ) and the back cupboards ( that are not used that much) are gradually getting cleared out. i guess the trick is not to try and do it all at once or leave it until you have to do it all at once .... but sometimes when i have finished cleaning and someone comes behind and leaves a mess behind i feel myself biting my tongue in frustration as not to say anything. ( yes on the odd occasion a sharp word does slip out but i am proud to report that it is on the odd occasion now days. )
Now i am off to put the clean sheets on our bed so it does not have to be done at the last minute again.
Have a happy weekend all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 27 March 2014

 For ages it would seem ( i am learning to be patient) i have been on a self improvement kick. i thought very carefully to start off with what one thing i would like to be better in myself. ( i wanted to kid myself and try and tell me, that i am perfect ~ but in my heart of hearts i know there are bits of me that i get frustrated and niggled over.
One of my big things is because of my dyspraxia, and slight autistic tendency at times, i think i seem to want things to happen straight away just because a person , or people, have said it will happen. Master is good about this and has got used to wording things so i do not get into a tizz about things but still i get frustrated when it happens ( as it always seems to in life)
For a long time i compared myself to others that i would read about or see on line , and i began to feel that my worth was not much, (forgetting the most important thing that i was perfect for Himself as He had not only chosen me to be His , He had married me as well. ) Different months would go by, and i should think that i drove Him up the wall wanting to try this and that to improve.
Forgetting still yet again what was perfect for some would not fit into the life style that  He and i had carved for ourselves. And getting angry with myself as well as i felt in many ways that i was letting Him down.
So what changed........ nothing really i can still read the pages , i think it used to be  a little like wanting the same three piece as your neighbour if this makes sense, but for a strange reason unknown to myself i no longer seem to want to have others rules, others life's, realising at last what we have is unique and special. With His blessing now i will ask if i can do things to improve myself. The only stipulation He seems to give is that i am respectful and that it makes me happy and does not harm any one ...
Have a good and happy day

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Saturday, 1 March 2014

i might have been a little bit dotty the  other morning in deciding that i could walk the dog with no socks on and shoes that were not really broken in ( but felt OK honest as long as they had socks on) , but my excuse was that i didn't want to wake Master at the ungodly hour that i was preparing to take the dog out , rummaging for socks, that had somehow disappeared, or getting my walking boots out. Anyhow, for what ever reason, off me and the hound set to take the new route that Master and i had discussed the previous day, ( i get bored walking the same paths and i am sure that Kiki does also.)
Half way round i began to feel a problem on my ankles, in the same place, at both sides, the stiff shoe leather was rubbing the skin off my poor leg. i considered removing the shoes, but the ground is not that nice to walk on besides it was frosty and i didn't want even more problems with the circulation cutting out as well as my bright red gashes that were appearing on my ankles by now.
By the time i got home ( or should that read hobbled) i was in real pain, and i quickly removed said shoes and walked about bare footed ( another no no since i broke my toe the other year doing just that) unable to bare the feeling of even my softest slippers on the wound.
i didn't say anything at first to Master, but He had noticed that i was in pain, at first He thought that it was my joints, and then i guess that He saw the problem. i was stressed and i told Him why, and for my trouble i can not believe that He gave me lines :(  . Lines that said one hundred times, i must not be a plonker, to be written while He was in the bath, and i nearly got it increased to two hundred by muttering.
One hundred lines.... i can do that  easy, ummmm, well maybe, no computer, no keyboard, and i hate writing , It took me nearly an hour to carefully write it out , i had to be careful and not use my usual spider scrawl as so He could read it. Then after He had read it , He made me tear it up and place it in the bin. What a waste of my time.............. but the penny dropped then, i hate not having time to do my things and by making me waste an hour of free time that i had, it had shown me if i had have just fetched the right clothes in the first place , i wouldn't have had this problem. He hadn't given me cane
strokes to count , as i am having the training for this every night and He didn't want me to be distracted from this. And some how the punishment that He had chosen had been far more effective.
hugs to all
have a good weekend everyone

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 27 February 2014

wriggle wriggle

 i can not lay still to save  my life, my feet start to twitch , my body heaves and i have to toss and turn, and in a session i am ten times worse. Master has cottoned on to this, and it irritates Him, so much so, He has now threatened paper chains to bind my hands and if i break them , then i get a forfeit. (I guess that i will be getting plenty of these then. )No i did promise i was going to try but if anybody has any tips they would be gratefully received. i used to be able to place my mindset somewhere else bu Himself has got wise and alters the timing of the implements now so this does not work. ( and yet He knows i can lay still when needed as i do when i am half asleep. )
Yesterday brought some insane words from my mouth when i actually muttered i needed six of His DC after a session that had blown my mind ( perhaps that was why temporary insanity took over, but strangely enough He did not take my "it was a joke" as an excuse and dealt them to me. ( shhh don't tell Him but i actually love the feeling those strokes have left behind this morning )
Hope everyone else is having a good Wednesday...
hugs saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Tuesday, 25 February 2014

 Today was the first day of feeling better and not having a blocked and snuffle nose. It was also the day that Master decided that i had to go and have my bloods done. ( i have an a dread of letting the nurse stick needles in my arm since they missed the vein before and left me with a massive ache and bruise .) Still it is over and done now and hopefully i wont need to go back for another three months, but who can tell .
I read in so many blog's how peoples lifestyles have seemed to have been off track, well i guess ours have also, while both of us have been recovering from the flu and for myself  an allergic reaction from my meds as well, but after a mini meltdown on my behalf , ( yes i am ashamed now) and Master now feeling allot better from his flu, things seem to be looking up. i decided that i needed to pull my socks up .
 The  tablets that the doctor had prescribed had given me a rash that came and went , sickness and headaches and also the need to scratch the whole time, but Master and i had not imagined such a negative reaction after coming off them , and it was like i was having a jackal and Hyde personality. Thankfully i have the worlds most patient Master and He understood the problem even before i did. It left me with masses of guilty feelings every mood swing but at last they seem to have stopped. My only worry will be if the next lot that the Dr tries has the same negative reaction. ( but Master has said that He will talk to the Dr with me , and will deal with it if they come)
Hopefully the next few days will bring more settled routines and improvements
hugs to all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 20 February 2014

 Sometimes in life , you get a great big kick up the bum when you least expect it. For the last couple of weeks my emotions have been all over the place , i can not think of the last time that my brain felt this mushed , and to be quite honest i don't want to. The reason...... In my thoughts it is because i have had to stop taken a fairly hefty dose of medication that the Dr discovered that i was allergic to ( one in 5000 people are that take it apparently) And of course now my body is adjusting and trying to get back to normal whilst also trying to battle the man flu from hell .
Add this all together and what Master has got is the brat from hell that keeps swinging back and fourth. It doesn't make me feel any better knowing that eventually i will level out, because i know when i go and have the blood tests the likely hood is that i will end up having to take a different brand of medication and then i will have to have time to readjust to it yet again. Topped with this with the fact that the whole household has been poorly with the same flu bug including Master , you may see that He and everyone else that comes near me is getting a tough time.
Master deals with illness by going to bed and trying to sleep it off , i cant , because i will not allow my body that luxury ( and if i did i might not be able to move the silly joints so well at the end of it ) and so i try to find things to keep my idle mind busy. It doesn't always work.... i still drift backward and fourth, but i cant stop the patterns that the body is working on. That and coupled with the fact my mind is always going through things that i think that i aught to be doing and i worry that i am making myself unlovable and ungirl like.
i guess the thing to do as Master has told me is try to focus on the good things and not allow the realms of doubting my abilities to creep in, to try not to do to much and to stop trying to punish myself , it is not me the drugs will leave the system and then peace will reign again.
This girl would like to apologise for the temporary blips that are going on in your life soon they will smooth themselves out and normality will appear.
take care everyone

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Saturday, 8 February 2014

 Well the eye doctor never happened today, thanks to flooding and police cautioning off the road for me to get there. Was i pleased.. yes i hate people playing about with my eyes,, that was until a little voice whispered , oh it will have to be rescheduled. Now i realise that i have to go through the whole thing again.
On a brighter note, i have nearly finished my valentine card for Master, a work in felting wool and now have several pricked fingers, plus nearly finished a solstice present for my niece , so i feel quite proud of myself .
Hope everyone else had a good Friday and that the rains stop soon

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 6 February 2014

re-evaluation or mid life crisis

 OK, so maybe this is a weird title , but at the moment that seems to be where i am at with my thoughts and body. Every time i think i have got things straight in my head i look and they seem to create a muddle again. ( this in itself might say to me maybe that i am trying to hard to sort things/feelings out and i need to go back to basics , and just not stress about things. )
Don't get me wrong Master and i are fine.. never felt better , and yet there is this part of me who wants to take each little bit of me out and judge to see how others see me, and how i think that i can improve. ( yet there is the saying that if it isn't broken , don't try to fix it ~but the stubborn girl is still wanting to play in Pandora's box and so i will delve in and see if i can find what makes these tangles.
Hugs have a good rest of Thursday all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Friday, 24 January 2014

 This past week has been another one of rushing about and getting things "straight" . ( i still don't think that they are completely where we want them to be.) Master set out today to help me in the garden , it was frosty, and i was told by him we should not be walking on the grass when it was frosty. Having never heard of this before... ( i used to walk everywhere while i was on the farm with no problems) , i was sort of sceptical when He said it, but He is right..... it kills the grass crowns and ruins the lawn, and so does making snowmen as well. Ah well that's the last time i go out on the frosty grass.
He did not make an issue of this, just told me to look it up on google when i got home, ( by this time He was taking me to the store to get  a new ipod dock and some other things. ) i have now looked it up and i am once again wrong , He of course is right. ( and it's a good job i didn't have a bet with Him about it)
Last night He taught me how i many times i can cum and how He can use different things on me that although they were pleasurable to start off with end up being painful but give so much pleasure as well. This and the extra use of sharp nails kept me wet and left a big wet patch after our play ( plus one satisfied girl)
i know that the blog has been a little neglected of late but it always seems to be put off until the last minute in this house and then when i realise that i have not managed to fit it in it will be the bed time, { i am quite proud that i have managed to be on time for this , this week, but i am also aware it is an area that needed to have improvement on. } and strangely enough i feel better for having regular sleep times.
Have a good weekend all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Saturday, 18 January 2014

 i have been missing  writing the blog again. The good thing is i have not left it so long this time ( only a few days) the bad thing is that it happened at all. i guess that i had a rough day yesterday and i don't know why it didn't get added to, the  day before that.... just that the days were kind of unbalanced in some ways........... but added up in the end.
 Allot of heart searching went into the last visit to the Dr's , only because i am starting to dread going there, because she  always seems to change the tablets about, and  this leave me rough. Master of course was and still is great, He stands by me and voices the words that i can not seem to explain when i am there because i am getting stressed with the situation , and it made me feel proud and glad that i have this Man that stands by me and looks after me not just when there is play to be have , but 24/7.
It was hammered home when the Dr happened to say how positive He kept me in the situation that i was seeing her for , and i told her He is like it the whole time.. ( which He is ) and could truthfully say that there is no other human that i would ever want to be my One in the whole world, and i am blessed.  i guess that i am lucky that i can still feel , and have this support after all these years.
Master has also found a new way that has helped me to sleep better, which has been a couple of swipes of His DC when He comes to bed.  It seems to relax me , and i sleep longer and without nightmares. ( it also stops me being a fidget and wriggling about for ages as He settles down. )
Hope you all have had a good Friday all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Sunday, 12 January 2014

 Ever have one of those days where you feel so muddled that you can not see which way is forward.  It feels a little way like this today, as i just know that there is something that i should be doing, but i can not remember what it was for the life of me. because of this ,  deep in the back of your mind is the haunting that there is something not being done.
i have a feeling Master always knows when this happens because any routine goes out of the window and all sorts of little things get completed and done to try and remember that one thing.
Anyhow , i have to scoot now as i noticed one of my lavender bushes was uprooted by the wind we had the other day and the frost will kill the roots , so it better get replanted.
Here's hoping the illusive thing comes to mind later on and everyone is having a good and productive weekend

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Friday, 10 January 2014

 Master surprised me today by joining me for breakfast, ( it was a good surprise and one that was totally unexpected. ) i had not had the best nights sleep the night before , and i think that i woke Him up more than once, but it was nice to share my morning food with Him and get instructions for the morning.
After trying to sort part of the house out and getting the appointment of the Dr booked for Monday, i felt as though i was getting on top of things, but i feel also that i wanted to find something or do something to surprise Him , so i have been looking at the hotels for valentine night... then a thought struck me and i wondered, if i would be able to pull this off, as i was not meant to be spending money without asking Him ( though technically speaking i will not be spending money before He knows, as the rooms for the place to stay are paid after i have shown Him the stay, plus i should have enough saved from my allowance to pay for it by putting the money in the bank. )
To book a dirty weekend away or not ... this is the question. 
Have a good Friday all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 9 January 2014


 OK , i am a spoilt brat!!!!!  Master did not bawl me out over my spending the money, instead actually realised and understood why i had done it, after He had thought about it and seen the dilemma that it had given me.
He took me to the beach this morning and allowed me to spend time with the sea meditating and recharging my batteries. ( i needed it) Also explaining to me that He understood why i had made the choice that i did , but in future to run all decisions, how ever big or small past Him. ( i am not a newbie, and as my previous post says, i felt cheated, or worried, that i had not had closure on what i felt was  a big slur. Apparently i had punished myself far more harshly than He would have , the decision i had made was not bad , it was the none consultation that was not good. It was time for me to move on.
So one nap , and  a hot chocolate later, i feel better and alive , and the luckiest, ( if not most spoilt) girl alive. Have a brilliant rest of the day all .

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .
That was for yesterday, and that  is how it left me feeling. Everything that could have gone wrong did, and i find myself existing on three hours sleep last night as it seems every hour i woke up in a cold sweat, and then could not go back to sleep.
i opened up an envelope to find that i had forms to fill in, and when i say forms perhaps mini books would be better said. ( these are my worse nightmare) i totally misread an appointment time on an eye clinic letter and tried to change it only to find that it was already on the day to be changed to , found out to replace a fence in our yard it was going to cost over 2 and a half grand , and got really sad that i managed to miss my son going back to the other end of the country and i don't know when he will be down again.
If you top this off with the fact that i managed to upset or disappoint Master, ( by making a decision about a buy with out consulting Him) and then could not eat either of the meals because i got to stressed up ( wasting food and making myself hungry and feeling ill as the glucose went haywire.) i really think that you could say that yesterday was not my day.
However it could have been worse i guess.... i am not sure how , but it could have been.  The positive things that i could see that happened was that i have not got punished for my blip, and yet in a way it would have been easier to bare , because then i could have moved on instead of just getting the look that says i messed up .
:( :( :(
Roll on morning time so i can turn it all about and hopefully have a happier and better day.

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Monday, 6 January 2014

Monday morning.

This morning has brought a tired but happy saffy , (How can a person still be tired after sleeping  for seven plus hours). After my hiccup of yesterday, things got a little more easier during the day. Master seems to have upped the observation stakes and picking up on little blips like my thirst at the moment and my sleepiness at four because of not keeping the carbs etc balanced.
( in truth i had not been hungry, ( it gets like this when i have a hiccup) and had tried to sneak a big portion of my food to the dog without people noticing.) Didn't work and now i feel like a brat, however, now the sensible thing to do is work with Master and not against the guidelines that i have to keep me safe. ( trouble is when i get upset rational thinking goes out of the window) . So without much more pondering i think i better go and find some oats , and some fruit , and then i will be set to take the dog out and not give anyone a hard time today. ( least of all myself) otherwise the serving spoons and spatula in the kitchen are going to get more jobs to do than they are worth and my butt still stings from yesterday .
have a fun  Monday all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Sunday, 5 January 2014

 So tired this morning, and i guess i only have myself to blame.  i went to bed early enough , before pumpkin hour, ( and it is the weekend so the ten O' clock curfew was not in place, only to be woken up in the middle of the night ( well 3 am ) with a rough dream and a need for the loo. my mouth felt as if it was sandpaper, which i  put it down to the blue cheese and curry (not together) that i had yesterday, plus the piece of toffee that i ate. )
After my journey downstairs i snuck back to bed and Master had different ideas about me going back to sleep , and instead started off some play time with keeping into position for me. i never knew how hard it is to keep still , when someone is pushing all the buttons to make you squirm and how hard i would find it physically and mentally, and after an hour He finally decided that i could go back to sleep...........
Sleep came easily so did rolling over when getting up time should have been and having an extra half an hour in bed....... ( it is Sunday)  , And so i get on to the second part of why i feel tired, , FAMILY !
i thought that one day my father would accept my husband, but to coin a phrase from the past, hell would have to freeze over first. he  ( my father seems to do his best to wind me up, and hurt me every time i speak to him, and yet again i ended up in tears because he decided to call my son and my husband lazy, and then proceeded to pretend that he could not hear me when i was talking to him... i knew he could because i gave the phone to my son and he could hear him and talk to him just fine. In other words my dad , the one that i use to call my hero had decided to play games with me again.  If it was anyone else i would not put myself through this hurt and so it makes me wonder just why i am.
So i feel stressed and down and that in itself makes me tired...and i only have myself to blame.
i want to ask Master for maintenance to drive my pain away but i know that would only be the wrong reason and not a good idea, so i must work through it and turn around a bad few minutes into good ones.
i refuse to get hurt by a man who i should love, but am close to losing every stitch of self respect that i have for him, and i refuse to allow it to damage Master and my marriage... not anymore. Time will tell if i allow him to continue to hurt me or if i take the option that was offered by Master to just not allow him near me or to speak to me  any more.
Have a wonderful Sunday all
i am now going to

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Saturday, 4 January 2014

A gentle reminder

 i thought that i was doing pretty well today, making Master His breakfast , boiled eggs...  dippy soldiers, and coffee, ( and getting the yolks just right) taking the dog out, fetching the bread etc..... but i had a little hiccup ...
We were sitting eating our eggs and He asked "why are you soaking wet" "its raining outside when i took the dog out, and i wanted to get You breakfast before my bath Master" should have been my reply , but instead it went.......... "i haven't had my bath". This was not the right answer to the question as i was told , option one being the better one...... but my brain was racing ahead trying to get things done before i relaxed in my bath.. 
Master replied that wasn't what he had asked and i got a rap on my arm ( not hard but enough to make me focus,  (bucket list  number 3 comes to mind... listen the first time things are said oops ) So then came the option one answer, and i got a lecture about not dripping everywhere and catching colds so i am not healthy for Him. 
Afterwards though He did put the heating on and run me a hot and very relaxing bath. i think that i should start thinking before i answer Him, because He has obviously upped the observation and communication stakes to make me mind and keep to that bucket list this year..........
( for now the yellow folder stays sitting on the window in the office .. i only hope i can master the bucket list before He throws the next set into the greater plan of things... it's a little like being a newbie again and being retrained , but i obviously needed this badly. ) 
Hugs to all 
have a good weekend

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Friday, 3 January 2014

Yesterday Master took me into the little town near us and brought me some  more art supplies,  This included  a proper calligraphy set, some card and the yellow folder, plus a rule made of hardened plastic. ( He couldn't find the wooden one that He wanted. ) i of course am happy because i have struggled with my hand writing ( my tic does not always allow for nice neat writing let alone neat writing in ink, and so i see lots of concentration and studying here as it is always something that i have wanted to do better, for my memory book and other things.
The dreaded yellow folder is quite innocently looking at me on the office window, empty at the moment.... but still taunting me, and it is still a love hate relationship , for i know i want it , i have earned it, but i also know that harder consequences will follow if i do not keep to it.
The bucket list for 2014 is safely on the wall and i have been trying to keep to it , i wonder though if i may regret the *learn not to fidget and be still *  point, but only time will tell. i also have a little feeling in the pit of my tummy that Master plans to make sure this year things are kept to and do not fall by the wayside. ( and secretly i am glad , i feel more secure knowing He has my back)
Now i am off to make sweet potato chunky chips and salmon for dinner.
have fun all
saffy x

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 2 January 2014

 This morning has brought blue skies and fluffy white clouds, and after all the rain for the last few days it is a refreshing change to not be greeted with cold and grey. Master and i continue to have the house to ourselves.. ( though this will probably change today) and it is very peaceful, although i kind of miss having the young adults about at times.
In a moment i have to wake Master up, as He has promised a trip out.... maybe to get my yellow folder, and a couple of rulers that He wants.. but for now i am sitting and reading blogs , and trying to keep my promise of updating my one.
For now i guess i better go and make Master His coffee , and start his day, take care all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Wednesday, 1 January 2014

out with a bang, and in with an even louder one

 Well Master certainly saw out the new year with a bang for me... He put my head in a clear frame to be flying with His dragon cane. Just before midnight, He ordered me to the bedroom and told me to lay in position over the bed.... then came some pretty hard raps with that cane ( and believe me i felt every one of them because it has not been used for so long.) He also drew a smiley face on my bum cheek with a marker pen, which i can not scrub off.
By this time i was like putty and would have melted for Him had He have asked, but He told me "downstairs to listen to the new year chimes" The fireworks on the television were spectacular, watching them explode, and apparently they were meant to smell of fruit also ( though obviously they didn't over the television. ) We had some quick new year messages from the family and i headed off to bed, only to be woken up in what seems a minute later by Master to finish what He started.
He certainly allowed me relieve from the ache that had been building up inside and i came for Him over and over again, unable to keep quiet or still... what a way to start the new year and end the old one................with a bang
Hope all is good with everyone

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 HAPPY 2014 from M.K and saffy .

( hope it is the best year yet)

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .