Sunday, 27 February 2011

hello i am me

Whilst out for my walk a little while ago i happened to glance up in the sky and spot that there was a plane flying over head, so high up that if i hadn't have looked up i never would have seen it, but an amazing sight all the same as it was a gold colour (due to the sun reflection on it) burning like a flame brightly in the sky. For  a split second my mind marvelled on the fact that something that is so large and cumbersome on the ground could be so beautiful at that angle and so far away.
Of course the flight path has always been there, in the sky, and at certain times of the year, we see the aeroplanes more than others, indeed at certain times even. .....and my head started to liken the planes to a D/s relationship.
Submission with a new Master, the slave likened to a plane .....a vessel to carry and fetch, to please , to achieve, to soar to the highest limits and then land safe again ....... And then the Master knowing that the body is capable of flying high , of  unlimitless journeys, if the maintenance and work is done on the body, and the right skilled pilot is put in charge.
For one brief moment my mind could wonder at the thought of the plane looking like a flame and liken it to the flame of desire that burns in all slaves , wanting to please , and serving with a wanton fire, extinguishing all  thoughts , the need  to please, to earn that little word of praise , and to shine for Him like the brightest star.
The conclusion that it gave me was that in this slave/girl at least , she is like the plane, whether it is visible to all or not she shines with that golden glow, and wants to hear those words. She trusts her Master to guide her to new heights , not just in play, but in all aspects of her life, and she knows with Him she will always have a safe and secure landing , if there isn't He will put all emergency plans in action.
Imagines Your face Master, gives You a big wink and whispers,........................"hi this aeroplane saffy, welcome on board, please fasten Your safty belt in case of any turbulence along the way, sit back , when takeoff has happened relax back and enjoy the ride, and thank you for choosing to pilot D/s airlines.

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Saturday, 26 February 2011

Chalk days revisited and put to bed

 This post is in reply to Master's comment on the previous blog entry that i wrote , in the hope that it will show Him i have thought about it and i also hope it will never reoccur.
Yes the words on reflection might seem strange to You Master, as You were there the very moment the other day when i decided i hated that chalk board. ( okay maybe hate was not a good word .....maybe disliked strongly would be a better one)
The day had started off badly for me with a stream of what seemed criticism from my father about my family and myself and even a bit of it , it felt at the time directed at You. i was not in the best of moods for sleep had been little and even the dog felt as if it was winding me up. i can not explain (still) easy about the fear that decorating instills into me and to have dad on the topic was almost to much ......especially as it would seem the infection is still lurking inside the cavity. One hundred and one things were whirling about my head and i wanted them straight. Amongst that i couldn't take the dog out because of the rain , so she was being whappy, i felt i had let all the family down , i was worrying about one of our son's n trying to fix my mind on the fact it was a shopping day so at least i could escape the turmoil and get away for even a short while from the house.
The You got up, and shopping as weather is to bad......escape route blocked........
You knew i was upset , i couldn't tell You why , because i was ashamed and i snapped.......tears and tantrums followed because i was worried , but didn't want to speak in front of son, and , as You know when You added the mark on the board for not answering i wanted to remove the chalk and put it where You could not see it.
Instead as You also know i crushed it out of share frustration, not even realising i was doing so, and by the time i did it was to late.
No matter what is said or done i can not take back that moment and You can not imagine how much the final act of my stupidity hurts me even now. It has not stopped me going back over and over in my mind about the board , the marks and what that means to me. It gave me that conclusion of the previous blog that it was in fact a good thing . ( not my behaviour of the previous day but the actual board and what it was used for. ) That was what my earlier blog was about.
No one can punish me as much as i have and still am about the destroying of something........and i can only say i am sorry from the bottom of my heart and mean it . i cant not turn back time, and i have to learn not to let situations get to me, and when they do , to just blog them or share them with You at the earliest moment.
I accept all i have coming my way with the grace that maybe at the end of the month we can have a fresh start with the blackboard and i will not get so many points.
humbly and with love from the bottom of my heart
the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Friday, 25 February 2011

spring and chalk

This morning . while out with the dog, i happened to see all of the spring flowers had started to poke their heads thought the soil and some of them even had buds or flowers on them. i am not talking about the snowdrops in our garden for they have been swaying proudly in the cold winds for a few weeks now, no , i am saying about the crocus and daffodils, and on closer inspection even a few violets , and the shoots for bluebells and such like which have appeared.
i love spring time with the bright splashes of colour everywhere, i love the mystery and surprise as i see the gardens, in the roads that surround us, turn into works of art with bursts of yellows , pinks and blues and all the shades in between, a reminder that life is starting to renew itself after its long sleep.
As i walked on , my head turned onto another brain pattern , that of Master's chalk board with the strikes on it that i have earned. This is a relatively new thing in O/our house and sits by Masters desk on a shelf mocking me of my misdemeanors that i have had the past month. So far i have not managed to get one strike a day , but it does have a few more than i would care to mention on it. i have yet to see what will happen when we reach the end of the month , but i know they are not a good thing.
In some ways though, they are a good thing those chalk marks, like a symbol they show me that Master is taking note of my bad points as well as my good and this in turn shows me of His care. i take comfort in the fact that they are there and i will not just slip back into the dark days of being a brat that couldn't face the outside world , and wallowed lost in my depression.
Like the flowers that bloom in the spring i have a reason to push pass the the darkness and  burst into the beautiful slave that i am on the inside. Showing the bright colours i hide from within. Knowing that as my gardener , Master will cherish and nurture me through the cold and hard times to make me into a strong and vibrant girl. With the love that He soaks my body in i can continue to grow and get stronger in my submission to Him, safe in the knowledge He will feed me with knowledge and trust,  and has given me a list of instruction that support me in my growth, knowing that He can add to this to stretch me further.Those marks that sit on the blackboard are like a pair of secateurs , ready to prune the bad and wobbly bits from me, to make me a stronger person in the long run. Not permanent , but there anyhow , and they will be used.
i loved seeing the flowers this morning, and i know everyday will bring another colour or surprise to it as i continue on my daily walks. i also love the lifestyle that i chose to live, and am proud of the way i have grown and continue to so , under Masters love, and support. So many people think that being in a BDSM relationship is all about kink and beating a person with a cane, flogger or what ever is at hand , that they miss this part of our lifestyle and the beauty that appears in the right care.
Thank you Master for Your care and the chalkboard, on reflection it was a good idea and a really positive in my life. i love You with all i am, all i was and all i ever shall be.

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Do not judge me or the small part of my life that you see,
As you pass me , and make a  snap decision,
Instead stop and delve deeper me fly free,
In my bondage , my slavery , in my submission.

Not to everyone can this girl be bound ,
For her servitude belongs to her Master, and that is all,
But for Him , no stronger devotion can be found,
And His cares for her and stops her from taking a fall.

She hopes she reflects that same care back to Him,
As she works through her instructions of the day,
And she knows her devotion to Him is not a whim,
He is carried in her heart and mind her in work rest and play.

She loves the times He marks her as His girl,
With whips , rope or maybe the edge of  a knife,
And the reminders that it brings sends her mind in a whirl,
She can think of no better way to spend her life.

So you see to her Master she will always belong,
And her submissive heart will continue to beat true,
For He is her life and in her slavery she becomes strong,
faithfully stuck by His side, like she was bound by glue.

Written for Master Kenzie February 23rd 2011 with love and respect from saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .


The word Master, what springs to mind when i am asked to blog about it?

i often write this word or use it in my everyday life , about the Man that owns me , because i gave Him my submission. No one forced me to do this , i did it off of my own back , and have never regretted a moment of that decision. My best definition of my idea of  a Master would be the poem i am a dominant man

I am a dominant man. I am just that.

I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part.

Not because I feel I am more intelligent, or wiser.

I am not dominant because of the strength or mass of my body.

I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women.

Yet to you, I am Master.

I am your Master only after earning your trust and I embrace your

I have looked into your heart and mind and clearly see your desires and passions.

You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions.

You tell me of the needs of your heart and body.

You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.

You are a woman. You are not weak or inferior because of it.

You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal.

I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend and provide for you.

You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart.

Your belief in me gives me courage and direction.

Your strength disperses my doubt.

Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.

We are not equal. We are halves of a whole.

We compliment each other and make each other complete.

My desire to dominate you is instinctive.

It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine.

We each recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.

You are sure, strong and proud in your womanhood.

You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion.

You expect a man to stand strong and be a man.

You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man.

In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty,

and the faithfulness of your heart. You submit because I have earned your trust.

Because I have opened my heart and soul to you.

Because I have listened to your words with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions.

And because I have proved worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life: you have given me dominance over you.

What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural and the rarest gift a woman could give a man.

You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me.

Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility.

I accept this from you with humility and joy.

I understand the rarity and purity of this gift.

I recognize it is your body and soul, your heart and mind.

I dominate you only because you have allowed it.

I dominate only because you have allowed me to and when I see your body kneel before me, in my mind and heart you are raised above all other women, and all the treasures of the earth.

What you give freely can not in reality be bought.

~ Author Unknown ~

Every time i read this poem it makes my flesh tingle, for it is as i said above my reflection on what  You my Master are to me. i do not believe that i am inferior to you , as the poem says, nor am i weaker when i submit to You because i chose to allow You to dominate me.i still have my ideals wants and needs inside of me......At the same time i do not put You on a pedestal , i know that at times You will get it wrong, the same as i did before i met You and i love and trust You all the more for reaching out and being able to correct those wrongs before the cracks that they make become to deep. 
It does not also mean that because You are my Master i am Your doormat and You can walk over me and my feelings with no thought or consideration, although happily i never have thought or known You to do this to me, and always Your decisions have been what You have known and believed to be right for me. You have also given me the right to voice an opinion if i think that there is something that might not have been looked at in the equation. (Maybe sometimes i am a little cheeky with this voice, and yet i do not mean to be). Because i know that i can trust You, and that You love me , i know that i am safe to voice my opinions ( at the right time).
Some people might see O/our relationship as You being bossy or chauvinistic, because of the equal opportunities that the modern day society has pushed for but i had a choice whether i wanted this, and it was made wisely. There is nothing more relaxing and comforting than knowing that the Man you are with does His best for the family and for me . We as a whole are cherished and looked after to the best of Your abilities. i don't think that a vanilla person would understand my craving for pain the way that You do, nor do i think that i would be able to trust them to dole it out to me, so i didn't get to carried away.

In short in my eyes , anyone with a little knowledge can do a scene and have kinky sex , yes it is a part in ways of the path we walk on in this life, but You my Master  (to me) are more than that. There was alot to be said for Domestic Discipline in the olden days and when a Man was the head of his house , and i guess that is what my Master is, a Man i have given my Authority  to act in my best interests.
Thank you for allowing me to call You this and for the care that You give our family and me and so many others besides .. i love You. 

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

 Last night was not a god one for me.! It started with my not being able to keep awake past nine forty-five ,  and nearly falling asleep at the desk...Not a big thing i guess, but my body has being shutting off  for sleep earlier and earlier the past few weeks, may MK's idea of a nap was not such a bad one on retrospect.
Anyhow i toddled off to the bedroom and was in a semi sleep when i heard the phone ring, and hoping (foolishly) it would be our son i sprang back to life again and went to see if it was. Nope, it was Master's sister and well then i felt stupid for raising my hopes up that it would have been our eldest.
The reason i wanted to speak to son number one was , i felt that last time he phoned i was a little abrupt as we were then going out of the door, and i wanted to tell him i cared for him , and find out how his trip to see his girlfriend went..Yes, ok i could phone him but he has lost his phone and i never know when he is at home to use his house phone , and dont like speaking to guys there that he shares his house with incase i make him look like a mummy's boy.
So i went back to bed and tossed and turned a while, till falling asleep, and was then woken  when Master came to bed as i had managed to spread the blankets all over the bed and my body, trouble is then i was awake again.  :-( , poor Master i must be the worlds most fidget to sleep next to and last night was no exception, as i tried to get comfortable, and might have dropped off again once or twice only to be awoken by His voice telling me i was snoring and to turn over.
i did turn over, Then thought about it and turned over again, right the way out of the door, and into  the spare room bed, full of frustration that i have kept Him awake again, and disturbed my own sleep pattern again. ( and i know how important His sleep is to Him so believe me this was not done on purpose) i was left feeling sad and the sense of failure washed over me as i beat myself up about snorring  yet again. i hate not sleeping with Him , but would rather remove myself from the situation than keep waking Him.
Well my night went something like close my eyes , listen to the rest of the house snore , get grumpy cos i was not asleep, count sheep in my head, relax enough to drift off, have a nightmare and wish i hadnt have bothered.Get up and read with a mug of darjeeling tea and the rest of my chocolate, and finally come and blog on here.
Sorry if i sound a wingey bratt on here... ( i probably am) , but i can still here snorring as the men folk doze and i just wish i could have had a nice nights sleep. ( maybe tonight will bring better options)

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Monday, 21 February 2011


 Ever since i can remember the aroma of a cigar has conjured up childhood memories of christmas time, when my father used to have his annual smoke of them. Generally one of those large ones but sometimes the little castello ones were smoked if it was during the day. The smell brought with it a feeling of happiness and relaxation, of times when i felt safe because i was normally with my father, and  i was a daddys girl....
But, over the last few years, cigars have come to mean something different to me....let me try to explain why.........
The first time Master and i met , i went though a list of things that i would do, i might do or things that were a big no no to me . Master listened to my likes and dislikes .........made a note i am sure of the ones that i would not consider and brought forth from His lips a few suggestions of His own. One of these was what would i do if he was to burn me on the fud (vagina) with a cigar.
As i was not collared to Him at the time, He got a very blunt and sure answer, that i thought that would insane and i was sure that i wouldnt try that was a no? (the last question from Master) Well, umm maybe its a maybe , (my brain was already racing ahead but wondering if i let this  Master in my life, how far He would push me ) my masochistic side suddenly wanting to feel the pain of that heat from a cigar on my bare flesh, but not sure still if it was a bad or a good thing . Hadn't i been willing to let someone do a brand on my skin before though............what would be so very different from the heat of a cigar to a person branding me . ( but ummmmm  you never got branded , and any how the person who was going to do this was a professional body artist, said my sane side.)
The subject of the cigars was dropped , as Master and i built up O/our relationship over time and i thought that He had forgotten it, i listened to Him telling me, after W/we had  a session , on how to some people would have considered what we just did abuse and a no no, and those words , made me think of the time that i had put this limit on the cigar thing.
Then Master did fisting on me ........something that was on a very low maybe, bordering on  a no......and that brought an even bigger message to me. i had said maybe , nearer no to this one because of a bad exerperience that happened to me in my preMaster days , and yet Master made me cum over and over with it......this was not a bad thing fisting , it was great. My conclusion, (egged on by my want of pain ) was if this was so yum, then maybe i was wrong over the the cigar issue, and maybe i aught to try them just to see if they were good or not.
The outcome of the story, i have learnt not to put limits on what i will and wont accept with my Master.... He knows what i like and i have to get past the mental barriers that are put there by the saftey police and i now trust that He would never do anything that would harm me permanantly. ( i can say this with confidence as i know He would never use a taboo action on me that are a NO in capitals as they are also His as well).
The report on the cigar burning is , It was wonderful, it gave that extra shove over the edge when He burnt me and pushed me higher than i would normally fly. He didnt just walk up to me and burn me with the tip of the cigar, oh no, it was a gradual process, bringing a  play session of wax  to a heady claimax.   The feeling that the heat gives as it touches the skin is a shock yes, but the waves of endorphins that drown you afterwards soon outweigh the initial bite.
i am lucky,  that i have a Master who took time to get to know His slave , and has the patience to let me reach out to Him and not try to force issues with what He wanted before i was ready to take the next step.
If you take one thing from this post . please let it be this , that you should never say no without a good reason, and to have not tried something before, is not a good reason, You never know you might try it and like it............look at the pleasure i got from it.

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 17 February 2011

testing the cupping set

Well Master sent me inot slave heavan the other day , by testing out the cupping set we recently purchased. He started off by placing a cup at the top of my thigh , ( and i must admit i was nervous as i didnt know what to expect) but it gave  a lovely bite almost like an insect bite that continued to throb there until the cup was removed. i thought it looked really funny to see a circle of skin puffed up under the little perspex dome and must admit to grinning at Master, which of course made Him decide to try them out on my nipples .. i didnt think that these would work as i have very large nipples and well the dont come out very often (unless Master tweaks them) as they are inverted.
Well the little glass dome cured that really quick and i was sent zooming into subspace as He attached the other one on the other nipple. looking at them i must admit (from my limited memory) that they looked really funny stretched out like that and i must admit although they stung the more He pumped them the effect was wonderful.
Master decided to leave the treat of one on my  pussy for another day , (yup now my mind is silently wondering what that will feel like) and made me lay on the bed while He proceeded in His knowledgable way to make me cum for Him over and over again. my lips of my vagina were throbbing at His touch, and my head spun,  i know that i had some pain there but at one point He waited for me to beg Him for more pain. At that point i would have welcomed His beloved canes with open legs as so to speak. When He finally alwed his body to cum with mine i spiralled completely out of control and i am pulled close to Him while i land from this lofty place He has flung my mind body and soul . Safely cradled in His arms and forever in His heart .....happy valentines my Master......i love You with all i am , all i was and all i ever shall be

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .


When given this word to blog about i was a little bit baffled about what to write, and well if this is an odd post i apologise in advance. My first thought about what to write would have been the memory of the first job interview that i ever went to, which was at a Sony factory where they assembled televisions etc.
i was nervous at the time as i had been told all sorts of rumors about the place , including the fact that they had to do an hours exercise in a courtyard every morning and all sorts of other horror stories......but when i arrived i was soon told that for the most of them, they were just that rumors.
However i was asked to do a dexterity test which i failed miserably on (and thus didn't get the job) due to dispraxia making it impossible for me to coordinate my left and right hands at the shape sorting  they asked me to do. There loss was my gain as i got employment at a different place... but that is another times story.
So what else could i tell you about Sony, well it is the brand name of the television that we have at the moment, and also the brand name of my earphones that Master got me.
Thinking along the lines of those earphones i guess they could come real handy if Master ever decides to do sensory deprivation as they block out all sounds and could be very powerful in a scene. Funny how a little word can make you think of these things.........but no i really can not think of anything else that i want to blog about so instead i will end this entry with why Sony is called Sony (shamelessly poached from wikipedia )
When Tokyo Tsushin Kogyo was looking for a romanized name to use to market themselves, they strongly considered using their initials, TTK. The primary reason they did not is that the railway company Tokyo Kyuko was known as TKK.[8] The company occasionally used the acronym "Totsuko" in Japan, but during his visit to the United States, Morita discovered that Americans had trouble pronouncing that name. Another early name that was tried out for a while was "Tokyo Teletech" until Morita discovered that there was an American company already using Teletech as a brand name.[12]
The name "Sony" was chosen for the brand as a mix of two words. One was the Latin word Sonus which is the root of "sonic" and "sound" and the other was "sonny," a familiar term used in 1950s America to call a boy.[7] The first Sony-branded product, the TR-55 transistor radio, appeared in 1955 but the company name did not change to Sony until January 1958.[13]
At the time of the change, it was extremely unusual for a Japanese company to use Roman letters to spell its name instead of writing it in kanji. The move was not without opposition: TTK's principal bank at the time, Mitsui, had strong feelings about the name. They pushed for a name such as Sony Electronic Industries, or Sony Teletech. Akio Morita was firm, however, as he did not want the company name tied to any particular industry. Eventually, both Ibuka and Mitsui Bank's chairman gave their approvallol
hugs saffy


 i had a really beautiful valentine's day this year, (unfortunately this has been the earliest moment i have been able to post on here due to eyes watching what i type and privacy that is very rare in this house. ) The day started with Master wanting a mug of coffee at 7:30 am ( not the normal routine of things ) and just before the allotted time he came down already awake. After this my day just got better and better , as master had obviously planned a day of spoiling and pampering for me.
We went out and MK went to the store to get some items, (i wasn't allowed in this time and was told to stay in the car), and so while i was waiting for Him i amused myself watching the other customers come an go........there was an elderly couple ,  they made me smile as he came round from his side of the car to open the door for his partner and then toddled off to the store arm in arm. Then there was the young man who was in a hurry and almost fell as he passed. (this made me feel a little better about my frequent falls that i have if the younger generation can over balance as well.) The woman who had to park her car right in the middle of the bay and spent nearly five minutes reversing in and out to get it just so..... another older couple that thought the floor was a litter bin and disregarded their till receipts on the floor just like falling leaves at autumn. So engrossed with this was i , that i failed to notice Master come back to the car and unload His shopping into the rear of the car, and the first i realised that He was back was when the boot shut and He was climbing in the driving seat.
After this short period of time Master took me to have pancakes and syrup for my breakfast (not something that i would normally have) and it was so yum , made even better for the fact that i had a beaker of hot chocolate and no washing up to do afterwards.Finishing the meal was restful listening to Master and the radio and wishing that i could have perhaps a little longer of His company, i was pleasantly surprised to hear that we were going to go to some other places as well .
First stop was the horse tack shop that sells a variety of crops and whips , and a few mouth pieces as well . i am sure that Master enjoyed teasing me showing me the leather straps and crops . There were a few nice ones there but none that really spoke to Master and so we left and went on to our next destination , which was another little town with some interesting shops etc in them.
Looking was fun at the little thrift shop that sold everything from second hand clothes , to books, to blankets , to crockery.... no blankets like the one that Master was looking for though , and so on to the antiques shop, where O/our carpet beater came from, but sadly that was closed on a Monday so we couldn't look in there for things.
Master then took me into a deli that sold the herbal tea that i love and got me some new variety to try including some to help me relax when it is night time ( yup the nightmares still haunt me ) and some nice rose, lavender and Camille tea....i have to say that is beautiful and i could drink this quite happily and give up normal black tea if i was allowed.
By this time my leg was being a pain (literally) , so Master took me to a seat told me to wait while He got some pain killers, and then went on to get  a coffee and tea so i could take them. The tablets eased the pain, but Master decided that it was time to leave for home and we did.........On arrival back , He sent me upstairs to wait and hid gifts for me all downstairs.......i got a big bunch of red roses , chocolate, (green and black of course) a heart shaped pillow (but a  pink one this year to match my red one, and a lovely card. (yup i am spoilt)
We had a memorable afternoon, first  a fenjel bath , playing with the cups (more about them in a different post) and then He ordered me an Indian takeaway for my dinner .
Never has a  girl felt so cherished and loved .... thank you Master for making my valentines day really memorable.

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Saturday, 12 February 2011

Get knotted revisited

 Yesterday Master gave me two words..........the first being one that i laughed at .......asparagus , and the second ropes. Well as i had asked for another word when He had given me asparagus, how could i say to Him, that i had already blogged about the second word and recently.( so a rareity occurred ....i kept quiet)
On reflection i guess i should have just gone with the first word, and if i had have done maybe it would have gone something like this
This is a vegetable that i adore, but only when in season as i think it tastes better fresh and young. Alot of people decide that they dont like this green stalk (though you can get white ones) when they are served an old one ...These are not nice and can be ropey and tough. It also happens to be one of Master's least favourite vegetables. (and it is at this point that a penny drops so loudly that i am suprised that a national warning wasnt issued to Great Britan for the racket it made )
Asparagus, not something that Master would ever eat if given a choice, but He has done and without moaning. How often has my smart mouth just had to have the last word with what is going on around us (even if it is under my breath) If i have not liked something how often had i in the past hid a toy that He would have got great pleasure in using just because i had decided that i didnt want it used on me? Were these my decisions now to use? How often had i said to Him i didnt like something knowing full well that i did this the likelyhoood that it would be done again was slim.? Should i not be putting His needs and wants before my own?
Admittibley i have opinions and thoughts as well, but then he realises this and has always taken these into consideration for me. How stubborn have i been? Yet i did lots to try and make my slavery known to Him, No one could deny my love for Him, and the way i wanted , no needed to feel when i acheived the goals that He had set. Yet when i had the blips that i had, He  went to have cave time, and still stood by me afterwards.
Ahh Master the penny started to drop with that blackboard that You introduced, ( i dont like seeing the marks on there mocking me everytime that i look to You) not knowing what those lines are for, but knowing that it cant be good,and also knowing , worse than that , it means that i have upset You. i have tried alot harder since it appeared in our life, but now there is a bigger penny , that of asparagus that needs to be fixed immediately and i promise You with all i am , all i was an all i ever shall be that i will remember (as far as my memory will let me )that i will remember the essay of ropes and asparagus when i get that no word in mind.
Now for the other word of the night................rope. This can be the most sensual feeling in the world, and You already know because of my previous blog , and because of the communication that we share that i love Japanese bondage or kinbaku-bi as it is better known , ut what about all the other options that we have in our lifestyle with ropes and string. 
i guess i neglected to say about the rope/hemp flogger that we own , that is laughingly named as the Master's kiss.
When that first arrived i laughed at the title that it was given , i was oblivious to the bit that those seemingly innocent little threads of rope could give in the skin , with the knots tied in to give that extra mmmph. i dont laugh at it now as i know how quick it can raise a welt as it lands on flesh, but i equally am knowledgable to the fact that it can feel like a pair of lips as it caresses the body gently before it restores order on its next bite. Maybe being called the Master's Kiss was an appropiate name for it after all. 
Another thing that slipped my mind to mention the last time that i was blogging about ropes was the the way that they can be a handy thing in bondage , that most people have laying about and are not to shocking for a nilla person to find. Who would guess that that could be used to truss Your slave up like a Yule turkey though, immobilising her where ever You wish to fasten her. 
i also forgot to say about the wonderful clothing that can be made out of ropes and the image it creates when a Master/Mistress makes a bra of the stuff and the breasts stand proudly like to purpley/black beacons infront of the submissive. Tempting You Dominant Ones to tweak and pinch...perhaps have a slap or add weights. 
i also neglected how a simple bit of rope/string is tied about one's person just to remind the lifestyle that i chose to live.

hugs softly i am sure that You would find many more that i have not mentioned this time either my Master 

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Friday, 11 February 2011

Sitting here i was thinking , i must be one of the most spoilt slaves alive. Yesterday i was given two , no make that three unexpected gifts from my Master. The first was His undivided attention and He took me out to lunch at a sleepy little town near us.
We started off before lunch looking in one of my favourite shops ( an antique /junk shop).There were a few nice things there, but nothing that grabbed my eye like the small chest of drawers that Master purchased for us last time we were there. At one point we did consider a small metal chest for our toys... but it was not really going to be any better than what we already have, and the inside was a little rough as well. . So we left empty handed this time.
We then went to have lunch at a little cafe. He ordered for me so i did not get stressed on trying to decide what meal there would be good for me , and i have to say the food was good . i was given a mixed cheese salad, ( i adore salad, but we rarely have it at home as it is the wrong time of year and the mini adult does not like salads so much) It was lovely, presented with a mixture of grated cheeses in the middle, and surrounded by baby salad leaf, couscous, pasta, potato salad, tomatoes, beans, you name it it was on that plate.( but not in vast amounts so it was not over powering. )i was also given a wholemeal crusty bread roll....which tasted home made.
Master had the chilli con carne with a salad bowl and chips.... His looked ok but i was pleased i had my meal as to me it looked more appealing. To drink we had to big glass mugs of  hot chocolate., just right for warming us up on a cold day. As i said the meal was lovely and it was beautiful just to spend time with my One and know that there was going to be no family interrupting and to get away from the house as well for a few hours.
After we had finished we went to look at the market at all the different plants, clothes and vegetables, there was nothing there that we needed and so we went to another shop further down the road.....This was an Aladdin's cave of all things beautiful... a deli , selling olives, cheeses, different pastas products which were enviromentally friendly , handmade soaps, cards , clothes. All in different rooms, so a bit like a mini mall , but all in one shop. I must admit i fell in love with a few things that were in that shop, and Master brought me another gift in there. ( a pentagram ).
Later when we left the town and were in the big supermarket for the shop, He purchased a knitting magazine for me as well , with a design for a blanket on it ....................
Well i did start this blog entry by saying i am spoilt.... and i am very much so..........
Thankyou Master for all You gave me yesterday......the most precious being the time that W/we spent together.
love You

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 10 February 2011

 Nipple clamps, in my opinion the most yuckiest things that were ever invented .
They work by restricting the blood flow to the nipple , or where ever else they happen to be fastened, in various  strengths , until such time they are removed or they pop off  (in my case) The sensations that they produce can be hieghtened by tugging on them, or by adding weights. In some cases you can get some that are joined by chain to both breasts/nipples and then to the genitals below.
You do not have to buy special clamps made just for BDSM play, as other objects about the house can be used , or adapted , such as bag tie clips hair cips and rubber bands bulldog clips , infact anything that can bite into the nipple (or where ever you wish to fasten) and cause a nip goes.
i do not mind so much clothes pegs, or the tweezer clamps as these produce a warm throb of pain on my  nipple and can actually be soothing. (that is until Master comes along and removes them or gives them a tweak) .  i always had a problem with tweezer clamps staying on as my nipples are large and seemed to enjoy pinging them off.  My nemisis in the clamp department has to be clover clamps.Perhaps it is the knowledge that they are almost impossible to get off , maybe it is knowing that they have a chain attached to them and can be tugged in any direction, but i think on reflection it is far more likely to be that they tighten with every small movement and they were used with piercings on me just after  the said peircings had been done and wasnt healed. i am not a wuss, i like pain it brings other pleasures with it... and given the right environment and my Master i have now maybe it is time to stop trying to hide the clover clamps and let Him decide whether He wants to use them.
The best nipple clamps i can think of though are Master's very own fingers........He can instantly squeeze hard, twist, ot dig His nail in. his thumb and fingers have often tuned my nipples into my body becoming a melted pile of slush as He drives me nearly to an orgasm just by twisting them. best of all i have contact with His skin on mine and His energy.
Looking at that maybe nipples being clamped are not so bad after all
hugs and light

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Monday, 7 February 2011


When Master gave me this word to blog about i had a small smile to myself as it has many warm tingley memories for me as a slave and even before that if i delve back into my childhood memories.
These thoughts of childhood that i am thinking of were due to my older brother playing a joke on me and getting me to hold what i think was an amp metre ( bu i am not technical enough to remember the correct name ...) anyhow when you took hold of each of the crocodile clip things and it was on it gae you a nice little buzz of power that sent a warm feeling to my inner self. i am quite sure that it wasnt the reaction that he thought that i would have , and quite possibley he didnt realise the reason that i went straight away and picked it up again , but i think you could say it was then my baptism of the love of small pulsey shocks was born . After this during my childhood i found you could also get a nice twang of a large battery as well and would sometimes stick my tongue on one of these as well.
Well the child in me grew up and for many years i think that other things overtook my love for the jolts that electrcical play gave me ....that was until one day i was in the right place at the right time and was lucky enough to come across a voilet wand set in a box , that was being sold at a car boot sale.  Luckily enough i have two people in my family that are qualified to work with electrics and was able to get it checked out. before  i first had it tried on me.
The first time it was put near me i must admit i was really nervous and nearly bottled out , for the inner child that loved that amp metre as i said, had grown up a little and with adulthood comes sort of reserve that sets the saftey police out and about. However , the Master that i had at that time was as curious as i was and away we went to test drive the different wands and tubes .........i loved it .it was like a set of prickles across my skin and when it hit my then peircings i  was told by Master of the arc that it created and the loud crackle.
i dont use that violet wand so much now . There are so many other scenarios and things to test out that i guess it was put to the bottom of the list ,
There is however other electric things that i would like to try out in play ., such as  the magic wand that Master found the other day on the net........i have worn to many vibrators out in the past  and maybe this one would be better suited to our playtimes. ... and also i have a kink to try out Master's tens machine ........but i am not sure of that idea its sort of a wibble that i want to try but am not sure that it would be pleasurable . ( who am i trying to kid in this blog i dont make decisions here Himself does , and so the end say so is His.)
What ever the decision the word electric has given my brain alot to think about...........and one last thought , maybe it wasnt to be about play, maybe what Master was thinking of was actually the electrical brain signals that fly about in our brains and drown our senses in pleasures.........:

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Sunday, 6 February 2011


 When Master gave me this word i was slightly baffled ....  i didnt understand what He wanted me to say about concrete and how it could be said that it was a tool that could be used in a scene. Thinking about it and its texture i suppose it could be a good surface to use if you wanted to have a messy play or something as it could be pressure washed down afterwards and it wouldnt be slippery for a slave to stand on.  The  very make of it would be hard and unyeilding if  one was to have to sleep on it or crawl on it and i guess not very pleasant from my memories of the past of movement on it.
It would also be useful to fasten things like rings into so there was good tethering points,. and such like when out door play was in session ... in the ideal garden that was away from nosey neighbours. i was going to put something stupid in here about the wearing of concrete boots like in the gangster movies so that sort of imobilised a person ( as long as the foot was in a strong thick casing of plastic so it was protected from the stuff) but then i realised that it would be near enough impossible to get it off without using hammers or stuff and totally not good in my eyes.
So instead  i just guess that i will blog about concrete meaning, a concrete (strong) relationship with my Master... the different aspects of  my submission and His dominance, being likened to the different ingredients of the concrete , each one totally seperate, but each one a necessity to make the strong substance that it turns into concrete, and in the right ratios.

ie cement = communication..... a biggy because if you cant comunicate with your One and He cant  communicate with you how can you ever know if what you do is right for you , or Him , how can either of you learn and progress.
shingle = safety .... Another  thing to think about ...and important
water = .trust .......i wouldnt consider playing or entering a relationship without it .
sand= openess to explore..... not one that everyone would put in but how many things have we missed out on because we set limits
chemical admixtures.... well this is the love  that binds me to Him tighter than  any chains ..this i guess is not necessary to all people but to me i give all of myself ( heart , soul, body and mind ) so would be a good thing to liken it to.
These examples i put in are a few of the things that i think that make the concrete relationship that a slave shares with her Master... yes there are other aspects that i could have put in but these are the ones that i chose to add.

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Saturday, 5 February 2011

revel revel.

 Yesterday was like being given a bag of those  sweets called revels ....a large plastic bag full of chocolate with different centres in them. Some of them where absolutely yummy but every so often there was one that you would rather not have put in your mouth.
The day was good in the fact i think that i made MK happy , and we got some time to ourselves, ( a precious thing at the moment and very valuable) but there was that one sweet as so to use that crepet in my mouth in the fact that i had to say i couldnt do a session with Master.  i guess i am lucky that He didnt proceed anyhow, despite my feelings , but i know after the build up of last month and the negativity that He and i had worked hard to remove from our relationship, at that split second when He had me cufffed to the bed , i was not ready to play, and neither He or i would have got anything at all from the session.
He was very understanding, more so than i deserved, but inside i felt hollow and as if i had really let Him down. i now sit her as i type it wondering how i am going to get over this block that arrived there yesterday and if i will feel like that at the next play session and trying not to cry. ( i hate failing Him , but i am trying to look at it that if i hadnt have said that i couldnt do the play session and had have carried on reguardless then i might have made the barrier even bigger. ) 
On  a more positive note Master seems to be giving me more defined boundries, and i feel more secure for this...
have fun all on this windy blustry day

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Friday, 4 February 2011

what about the past

 Memories ....are they a bad thing  that we have them or are they something that are essential to making us who we are . Should we look at the things that have gone on in the past and wonder why they happened, or should we turn our backs on them and try to shut them away pretending that none of them ever happened ....
i look at the people i have known in my life who have had dementia of some kind , both short term and long and i see how the elderly ones that i have worked with have only the memories of their childhood and past to live in as the present day has a habit of eluding them.
A particular person that springs to mind was of a Lady who was in her 50's but had bad dementia. She loved the old war songs that were song such as "pack up your troubles  in your old kit bag" and "if you were the only girl in the world " and would sing them when she thought that nobody was listening to her, she could remember her ration coupons and would fret because she could not find them, and yet if you were to ask her what she had for her last meal she couldnt remember.  i lost count of the number of times she asked who i was or another member of staff, and she could never remember which room was hers. She was trapped in a way in her past and there was no key to unlock her into the future as it got lost as soon as we found it.
i wonder what her life would have been like without her memories of the past ... She would have been a cabbage i guess to a certain extent, but there again she wouldnt have known much about it and it would only be the people around her that noticed and were sad.
The past has made me who i am , ( the good bits and the bad) and that is the thing that i am trying to focus on when the bad pieces rare their heads.....i needed those things to have happened to have made me into the person that i am now, without them my whole persona would be different . You can not shut things in boxes and pretend that they havent happened but you "can"  realise that they make you stronger and into the wonderful person that you are in this life now and use them as learning curves.
heh so what about the past?     Its just a gateway to get to the present .
the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

knowing the ropes

 Ever since i can remember being involved with BDSM and M/s relationships i can recall having a facination of  Kinbaku-bi (which literally means the art of tight binding). One of the first Master's that i used to know had learnt this at the hand of another , and used to show me on of all things a barbie doll how a long length of rope could be utilised to make a body harness or a restrain a person .He would often knot the rope symetrically down the dolls body making diamond shapes over it and sometimes braiding the rope in the dolls hair to show how every part of the body would be immobilised. He used to have a book as well that had many pictures in it and i loved the ones that were of beautiful japanese women suspended in a tree or bound at odd angles .
He patiently explained to me how the knots would often be strategically placed to give the submissive pleasure in her pain of submission bu making sure that they were on spots that would stimulate her in movement ...
Once he offered to show me by using me as a subject but sadly this offer was declined by the man who was at that time my Master or i could have blogged about it first hand. i do know that i still have this little fire in the pit of my stomach waiting to be stoked up by experiencing it first hand one day , but sadly i have now lost touch with the Master that it was offered from so perhaps i will never experience it.
such is life

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

blue movies

i think i was given these words to blog about because of an embarressing situation that occured when my father was installing an outside light for Master and i, on one of the sheds. Everything was going well until He had to get up on the ladder near the top of an old dresser . Unbeknown to me someone had placed an old video on there which was not child freindly should we say. Father got hold of it and without even looking said that it was a blue movie to my son who was helping . i guess scarlet could be used to desribe my face colour when it was brought indoors and announced what it was.
The funy thing is i can not ever remember watching the said movie......infact i would say that i have watched very few of them because they dont hold much appeal to me....though i have been known to watch a few BDSM ones of different scenes with Himself.
Looking at it i think that it must be hard to share that type of thing with another, and be filmed while a crew and goodness knows how many other people watch. To me the act of making love is something that is special to my One and i , and i guess i am an old fashoined fossil who thinks that it would be tarnished by sharing the details or playing at sex with other people.
However i am not blind enough to not realise that it is probably a kink or something that makes others want to perform infront of others and i guess that they could get a kick form it. But a little part of mind wonders if the love and care that they share with their husband/wife/partner gets cheapened by the acts that they do.
Its not something that i would want to find out and through experiencing it so i guess i will never know.

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .