Thursday, 27 February 2014

wriggle wriggle

 i can not lay still to save  my life, my feet start to twitch , my body heaves and i have to toss and turn, and in a session i am ten times worse. Master has cottoned on to this, and it irritates Him, so much so, He has now threatened paper chains to bind my hands and if i break them , then i get a forfeit. (I guess that i will be getting plenty of these then. )No i did promise i was going to try but if anybody has any tips they would be gratefully received. i used to be able to place my mindset somewhere else bu Himself has got wise and alters the timing of the implements now so this does not work. ( and yet He knows i can lay still when needed as i do when i am half asleep. )
Yesterday brought some insane words from my mouth when i actually muttered i needed six of His DC after a session that had blown my mind ( perhaps that was why temporary insanity took over, but strangely enough He did not take my "it was a joke" as an excuse and dealt them to me. ( shhh don't tell Him but i actually love the feeling those strokes have left behind this morning )
Hope everyone else is having a good Wednesday...
hugs saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Tuesday, 25 February 2014

 Today was the first day of feeling better and not having a blocked and snuffle nose. It was also the day that Master decided that i had to go and have my bloods done. ( i have an a dread of letting the nurse stick needles in my arm since they missed the vein before and left me with a massive ache and bruise .) Still it is over and done now and hopefully i wont need to go back for another three months, but who can tell .
I read in so many blog's how peoples lifestyles have seemed to have been off track, well i guess ours have also, while both of us have been recovering from the flu and for myself  an allergic reaction from my meds as well, but after a mini meltdown on my behalf , ( yes i am ashamed now) and Master now feeling allot better from his flu, things seem to be looking up. i decided that i needed to pull my socks up .
 The  tablets that the doctor had prescribed had given me a rash that came and went , sickness and headaches and also the need to scratch the whole time, but Master and i had not imagined such a negative reaction after coming off them , and it was like i was having a jackal and Hyde personality. Thankfully i have the worlds most patient Master and He understood the problem even before i did. It left me with masses of guilty feelings every mood swing but at last they seem to have stopped. My only worry will be if the next lot that the Dr tries has the same negative reaction. ( but Master has said that He will talk to the Dr with me , and will deal with it if they come)
Hopefully the next few days will bring more settled routines and improvements
hugs to all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 20 February 2014

 Sometimes in life , you get a great big kick up the bum when you least expect it. For the last couple of weeks my emotions have been all over the place , i can not think of the last time that my brain felt this mushed , and to be quite honest i don't want to. The reason...... In my thoughts it is because i have had to stop taken a fairly hefty dose of medication that the Dr discovered that i was allergic to ( one in 5000 people are that take it apparently) And of course now my body is adjusting and trying to get back to normal whilst also trying to battle the man flu from hell .
Add this all together and what Master has got is the brat from hell that keeps swinging back and fourth. It doesn't make me feel any better knowing that eventually i will level out, because i know when i go and have the blood tests the likely hood is that i will end up having to take a different brand of medication and then i will have to have time to readjust to it yet again. Topped with this with the fact that the whole household has been poorly with the same flu bug including Master , you may see that He and everyone else that comes near me is getting a tough time.
Master deals with illness by going to bed and trying to sleep it off , i cant , because i will not allow my body that luxury ( and if i did i might not be able to move the silly joints so well at the end of it ) and so i try to find things to keep my idle mind busy. It doesn't always work.... i still drift backward and fourth, but i cant stop the patterns that the body is working on. That and coupled with the fact my mind is always going through things that i think that i aught to be doing and i worry that i am making myself unlovable and ungirl like.
i guess the thing to do as Master has told me is try to focus on the good things and not allow the realms of doubting my abilities to creep in, to try not to do to much and to stop trying to punish myself , it is not me the drugs will leave the system and then peace will reign again.
This girl would like to apologise for the temporary blips that are going on in your life soon they will smooth themselves out and normality will appear.
take care everyone

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Saturday, 8 February 2014

 Well the eye doctor never happened today, thanks to flooding and police cautioning off the road for me to get there. Was i pleased.. yes i hate people playing about with my eyes,, that was until a little voice whispered , oh it will have to be rescheduled. Now i realise that i have to go through the whole thing again.
On a brighter note, i have nearly finished my valentine card for Master, a work in felting wool and now have several pricked fingers, plus nearly finished a solstice present for my niece , so i feel quite proud of myself .
Hope everyone else had a good Friday and that the rains stop soon

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 6 February 2014

re-evaluation or mid life crisis

 OK, so maybe this is a weird title , but at the moment that seems to be where i am at with my thoughts and body. Every time i think i have got things straight in my head i look and they seem to create a muddle again. ( this in itself might say to me maybe that i am trying to hard to sort things/feelings out and i need to go back to basics , and just not stress about things. )
Don't get me wrong Master and i are fine.. never felt better , and yet there is this part of me who wants to take each little bit of me out and judge to see how others see me, and how i think that i can improve. ( yet there is the saying that if it isn't broken , don't try to fix it ~but the stubborn girl is still wanting to play in Pandora's box and so i will delve in and see if i can find what makes these tangles.
Hugs have a good rest of Thursday all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .