Tuesday, 25 June 2013

Its been a stormy day at our house, both weather wise and one of the occupants...sometimes i wonder if i have actually spoilt my young adults ( i would hope i ha vent , but attitudes like today says i might have done) Thankfully the person in question chose to go out and left Master to sort my saddened mood out, which He did very adequately with a drum stick, His dragon cane and lots of squeezing and poking with sharp nails... oh and of course alot of pleasure.
(i am sure our neighbours must know when something is happening at our house because we have music on LOUD and the curtains get drawn)
Anyhow although i am a little sore i feel so much calmer and not in a spiral of despair and  self doubt,instead i am ready to face the world again and smile.
i think also i may have burst the blister on my hand yesterday as it is so sore today and feels hot but i dare not look in case it is , i will leave it to the nurse.
Hope you all had a good Monday ... mine was in the end and best of all i still have not managed to gather another point so am still safe from the mysterious punishment.

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Monday, 24 June 2013

 Master brought me a blackberry nearly six months ago to replace the little phone i had , and so i could keep in touch with two of the young adults easily and for a fraction of the cost of my old one. I was rather bemused at the time, i had an ipod, and i have never been a gadget girl or so i thought , but this little phone has been a boon to me.
The old phone would have sent texts yes, but this one says to me if they have been received, is easy to use and has a little camera and so many other things on it  that i am still learning about it. Invaluable when you have a young adult that doesn't always answer and don't now if they have received said message.
Yet another time Master has been so clever with His idea of what i will use. i should really learn to just realise that sometimes( who am i kidding) pretty much all the time He knows me so well , better than myself almost.
And so i am trusting Him that He is right about the rest that i am meant to be taking, and the fact that since the injury occurred to my hand i have not had much contact to the pain that i crave. ( yes the hand is painful but i miss the controlled pain) He gave me a perk this morning by twisting  the nipples when i was sassy to Him . It is hard but i know He is doing this for my good and so i am ticking the days off the calender till next Wednesday when i know more of how the blister and burnt skin is healing.
hope everyone is having a good Sunday

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Saturday, 22 June 2013

Day seven

 Things are so much easier at the moment, i find myself obeying and not wanting to test the boundaries as so to speak because of the safety and care that i am feeling from Master , because of the scald. It had frustrated me until yesterday that i couldn't do what i wanted , such as make our bread, cook properly and even bathing was a trial... and i really hoped that the dressing would have come off by now, but no.. and so seven days later there is no end in site to it being removed and i might as well just accept it.
It has been a humbling , but learning curve watching Master do the things that i normally do, but it is good as well , because He has shown true care and love to me , ( i have to say it is amazing the things that one can actually adapt to doing one handed though)
Maybe i will think twice before wishing others would help while i am doing big household chores, because it will be pleasing to be able to do them and get the satisfaction of pleasing my Master by my actions.
So for now i have to rest and concentrate on getting fit and healthy again, but i am also planning to try and do the little things that i can manage, and try not to be a pain to everyone.
On a brighter note  there is likely to be a fair few days that are just Master and i coming up so  , maybe , the dragon cane will come out and i will get a few stripes to decorate my backside etc.....
Have a good weekend all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 20 June 2013

 i have been avoiding posting on my blog for nearly a week now, because i had another accident at home and didn't want to write whilst i felt so down about it.
Last week i missed the cup while i was pouring out boiling water for the tea , and managed to water my hand with it instead. i was left with anger, (at myself) ~even though it was caused by my tic, and couldn't have been helped, and pain, and have had to live for  a week with dressings and bandages on it. It looks like it will be like that for a while as it is a bad burn....... BUT it could have been worse.
So because of the pain , i have not been able to type that well... i still cant... and i have started to be thankful the not being able to use it is only a temporary thing...i hate not being able to bathe properly ( Master has had to help) Wash my hair......( Master has done it) , cook, clean and practically everything. ( thankfully, i have been helped with the major things and the little things just have to wait. )
So why avoid, well... because i know deep inside i was told not to fill the kettle up several times by a certain person , ( but He hasn't said i told you so) because i feel incredibly guilty, and by writing it down it is acknowledging that i have got it wrong...(again) , believe me i feel bad about it and it is libel to leave a permanent scar to remind me.
i also managed to "earn" 4 out of my five points for the month in one morning by being sassy to Him, i guess that i will just have to lay low and keep a buttoned lip till the month is over, because i don't think that i could bare to let Him down now after He has been so good to me.
hope everyone else is having a better time

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Friday, 14 June 2013

 Today the sun is out.... the wind has blown all the wet weather that we were having away, and i feel GOOD. Mind you i dont know if this has anything to do with the weather, or the fact that Master tried His new makeshift paddle out on my backside yesterday. 
Some time ago, whilst visiting our daughter, we had been shopping at an Adnam's shop ( one of Master's favourite ales) and discovered that it had a lovely cooking utensil shop at the back of it. i had to try looking at masses of wooden chopping boards all different sizes, lengths and woods and not have drooling thoughts. i loves the ones made out of oak and of olive.... ( although the ash ones had a beautiful grain running in them. ) Master picked on out and  i have to admit it felt lovely in my hands, but i wondered how something that was so long and thick was going to feel on my backside. i cheekily said that He couldnt have it until His birthday and hid it. ( promptly forgetting where i had stashed it away)
This all occured a few weeks ago ..... i had almost forgotten about it... i say almost .... Lets just say last night i  was reminded of it again ,( as it was found by Himself) just in a tester situation, It feels as good as it looks and is a king among paddles. ( although i am sure it is a posh cheese board or chopping board.) Not only does it leave a nice throbby sting as it meets with the butt cheeks ... it also continues to throb with none of the gaps  of coolness that you get with our littler paddles or a wooden spoon. All this from only three spanks.
(  i had thought that the wooden spoon with holes in it  was one of my favourite implements, but now i am not so sure.....) i am truely hoping that it the paddle ( or Master's sandwich board as He calls it ) will be used more than the three spanks that i got with it last night, and that other smaller things with be added to  emphasise it.
Have a fun Friday all.

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 13 June 2013

Peaceful happiness

 Today has been good, Good that i don't think that i was bratty, that i have not over done the work, and that i managed to get the library books changed. ( that's always important to me , because although i have two kindles i love the feel of a real book to read just before i go to sleep. .... and we have a thing that Master does not like the kindles to be read in bed in case they are dropped. )
I feel a kind of calm has descended on me , a kind of peace. i am guessing that it might have something to do with the word association game, Master got me to shout out a football team while i was climaxing last play time after each wave of pleasure or during it.... and now when He sees i am getting lost He has been saying the word and i am transported back to that pleasure that He gave me.
He has given me so much guidance today when i look back on it without me even realising it, and i just want to do more and more to please Him.. ( i  do hope bratgirl doesn't come back)
i just feel so peaceful and calm
Happy Wednesday to all . 

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

bratgirl the workohlic

 Sometimes , i don't know why i don't let the submissive side of me have her own way, especially when i know it was just going to be one of those moments that happen, that prove that i should have just followed instructions, but i still had to try and be independent and "manage" things on my own.
From that i guess that you might gather that rebel brat has been about ( and she has) , It started with Master being away for business last week.... i couldn't settle i hate it when He is away, as i feel i have to do everything on my to do list for a week in a day ( to give you an idea how bad i am , my son calls me a workaholic ) Well a weeks worth of jobs got done in one afternoon, and then more.... and still i couldn't rest....So a few more hundred got done and i ended up slicing my thumb cutting a tomato. ..
That slowed me down, speaking to Master on His phone i was promptly banned from doing things ... ( but then i can't keep busy) and quite frankly have only just been able to take the dressing off the thumb, but i still feel YUCK.
i have a self destruct button i think inside me that makes me want to over achieve , to prove i can cope.... (i can cope when i don't try  and do so much) BUT, because of the disabilities and someones opinion of the past,  i always think i have to put in that extra mile... to prove i am good enough i guess
Master has found a way round that, when He is about , but when He is not everything goes out of the window , and workaholic brat girl is there. Try as i might i can not implicate the rest system that He has put in. and everything falls flat.
i get a problem then when Master comes back from His trip that i still want to over work and achieve and so then i start to beat myself up over it. This was all brought home to me yesterday , when He said, just  think about being nice to yourself... ( but i am last on the list) Time to change this .....and look to taking me time with Him self's permission. To look after Him i need to have an outlet for writing my thoughts...... feelings ... highs and lows ( that would be my poor neglected blog i guess) take time to make sure that i am well turned out and have done my nails etc... and to eat properly, not just on the run as so to speak. ( the food part doesn't happen when He is here only when He is away)
So today i am turning brat girl away..... she does not deserve to be in my life , and she gets me in trouble. i am focusing on relaxation ( football springs to mind( but probably not in the way that most would think~however that's another story) and focusing on all of me, as well as the family and Master, but making sure that i do not slip up and make myself YUCK again.
have a good day

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .