Friday, 24 January 2014

 This past week has been another one of rushing about and getting things "straight" . ( i still don't think that they are completely where we want them to be.) Master set out today to help me in the garden , it was frosty, and i was told by him we should not be walking on the grass when it was frosty. Having never heard of this before... ( i used to walk everywhere while i was on the farm with no problems) , i was sort of sceptical when He said it, but He is right..... it kills the grass crowns and ruins the lawn, and so does making snowmen as well. Ah well that's the last time i go out on the frosty grass.
He did not make an issue of this, just told me to look it up on google when i got home, ( by this time He was taking me to the store to get  a new ipod dock and some other things. ) i have now looked it up and i am once again wrong , He of course is right. ( and it's a good job i didn't have a bet with Him about it)
Last night He taught me how i many times i can cum and how He can use different things on me that although they were pleasurable to start off with end up being painful but give so much pleasure as well. This and the extra use of sharp nails kept me wet and left a big wet patch after our play ( plus one satisfied girl)
i know that the blog has been a little neglected of late but it always seems to be put off until the last minute in this house and then when i realise that i have not managed to fit it in it will be the bed time, { i am quite proud that i have managed to be on time for this , this week, but i am also aware it is an area that needed to have improvement on. } and strangely enough i feel better for having regular sleep times.
Have a good weekend all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Saturday, 18 January 2014

 i have been missing  writing the blog again. The good thing is i have not left it so long this time ( only a few days) the bad thing is that it happened at all. i guess that i had a rough day yesterday and i don't know why it didn't get added to, the  day before that.... just that the days were kind of unbalanced in some ways........... but added up in the end.
 Allot of heart searching went into the last visit to the Dr's , only because i am starting to dread going there, because she  always seems to change the tablets about, and  this leave me rough. Master of course was and still is great, He stands by me and voices the words that i can not seem to explain when i am there because i am getting stressed with the situation , and it made me feel proud and glad that i have this Man that stands by me and looks after me not just when there is play to be have , but 24/7.
It was hammered home when the Dr happened to say how positive He kept me in the situation that i was seeing her for , and i told her He is like it the whole time.. ( which He is ) and could truthfully say that there is no other human that i would ever want to be my One in the whole world, and i am blessed.  i guess that i am lucky that i can still feel , and have this support after all these years.
Master has also found a new way that has helped me to sleep better, which has been a couple of swipes of His DC when He comes to bed.  It seems to relax me , and i sleep longer and without nightmares. ( it also stops me being a fidget and wriggling about for ages as He settles down. )
Hope you all have had a good Friday all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Sunday, 12 January 2014

 Ever have one of those days where you feel so muddled that you can not see which way is forward.  It feels a little way like this today, as i just know that there is something that i should be doing, but i can not remember what it was for the life of me. because of this ,  deep in the back of your mind is the haunting that there is something not being done.
i have a feeling Master always knows when this happens because any routine goes out of the window and all sorts of little things get completed and done to try and remember that one thing.
Anyhow , i have to scoot now as i noticed one of my lavender bushes was uprooted by the wind we had the other day and the frost will kill the roots , so it better get replanted.
Here's hoping the illusive thing comes to mind later on and everyone is having a good and productive weekend

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Friday, 10 January 2014

 Master surprised me today by joining me for breakfast, ( it was a good surprise and one that was totally unexpected. ) i had not had the best nights sleep the night before , and i think that i woke Him up more than once, but it was nice to share my morning food with Him and get instructions for the morning.
After trying to sort part of the house out and getting the appointment of the Dr booked for Monday, i felt as though i was getting on top of things, but i feel also that i wanted to find something or do something to surprise Him , so i have been looking at the hotels for valentine night... then a thought struck me and i wondered, if i would be able to pull this off, as i was not meant to be spending money without asking Him ( though technically speaking i will not be spending money before He knows, as the rooms for the place to stay are paid after i have shown Him the stay, plus i should have enough saved from my allowance to pay for it by putting the money in the bank. )
To book a dirty weekend away or not ... this is the question. 
Have a good Friday all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 9 January 2014


 OK , i am a spoilt brat!!!!!  Master did not bawl me out over my spending the money, instead actually realised and understood why i had done it, after He had thought about it and seen the dilemma that it had given me.
He took me to the beach this morning and allowed me to spend time with the sea meditating and recharging my batteries. ( i needed it) Also explaining to me that He understood why i had made the choice that i did , but in future to run all decisions, how ever big or small past Him. ( i am not a newbie, and as my previous post says, i felt cheated, or worried, that i had not had closure on what i felt was  a big slur. Apparently i had punished myself far more harshly than He would have , the decision i had made was not bad , it was the none consultation that was not good. It was time for me to move on.
So one nap , and  a hot chocolate later, i feel better and alive , and the luckiest, ( if not most spoilt) girl alive. Have a brilliant rest of the day all .

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .
That was for yesterday, and that  is how it left me feeling. Everything that could have gone wrong did, and i find myself existing on three hours sleep last night as it seems every hour i woke up in a cold sweat, and then could not go back to sleep.
i opened up an envelope to find that i had forms to fill in, and when i say forms perhaps mini books would be better said. ( these are my worse nightmare) i totally misread an appointment time on an eye clinic letter and tried to change it only to find that it was already on the day to be changed to , found out to replace a fence in our yard it was going to cost over 2 and a half grand , and got really sad that i managed to miss my son going back to the other end of the country and i don't know when he will be down again.
If you top this off with the fact that i managed to upset or disappoint Master, ( by making a decision about a buy with out consulting Him) and then could not eat either of the meals because i got to stressed up ( wasting food and making myself hungry and feeling ill as the glucose went haywire.) i really think that you could say that yesterday was not my day.
However it could have been worse i guess.... i am not sure how , but it could have been.  The positive things that i could see that happened was that i have not got punished for my blip, and yet in a way it would have been easier to bare , because then i could have moved on instead of just getting the look that says i messed up .
:( :( :(
Roll on morning time so i can turn it all about and hopefully have a happier and better day.

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Monday, 6 January 2014

Monday morning.

This morning has brought a tired but happy saffy , (How can a person still be tired after sleeping  for seven plus hours). After my hiccup of yesterday, things got a little more easier during the day. Master seems to have upped the observation stakes and picking up on little blips like my thirst at the moment and my sleepiness at four because of not keeping the carbs etc balanced.
( in truth i had not been hungry, ( it gets like this when i have a hiccup) and had tried to sneak a big portion of my food to the dog without people noticing.) Didn't work and now i feel like a brat, however, now the sensible thing to do is work with Master and not against the guidelines that i have to keep me safe. ( trouble is when i get upset rational thinking goes out of the window) . So without much more pondering i think i better go and find some oats , and some fruit , and then i will be set to take the dog out and not give anyone a hard time today. ( least of all myself) otherwise the serving spoons and spatula in the kitchen are going to get more jobs to do than they are worth and my butt still stings from yesterday .
have a fun  Monday all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Sunday, 5 January 2014

 So tired this morning, and i guess i only have myself to blame.  i went to bed early enough , before pumpkin hour, ( and it is the weekend so the ten O' clock curfew was not in place, only to be woken up in the middle of the night ( well 3 am ) with a rough dream and a need for the loo. my mouth felt as if it was sandpaper, which i  put it down to the blue cheese and curry (not together) that i had yesterday, plus the piece of toffee that i ate. )
After my journey downstairs i snuck back to bed and Master had different ideas about me going back to sleep , and instead started off some play time with keeping into position for me. i never knew how hard it is to keep still , when someone is pushing all the buttons to make you squirm and how hard i would find it physically and mentally, and after an hour He finally decided that i could go back to sleep...........
Sleep came easily so did rolling over when getting up time should have been and having an extra half an hour in bed....... ( it is Sunday)  , And so i get on to the second part of why i feel tired, , FAMILY !
i thought that one day my father would accept my husband, but to coin a phrase from the past, hell would have to freeze over first. he  ( my father seems to do his best to wind me up, and hurt me every time i speak to him, and yet again i ended up in tears because he decided to call my son and my husband lazy, and then proceeded to pretend that he could not hear me when i was talking to him... i knew he could because i gave the phone to my son and he could hear him and talk to him just fine. In other words my dad , the one that i use to call my hero had decided to play games with me again.  If it was anyone else i would not put myself through this hurt and so it makes me wonder just why i am.
So i feel stressed and down and that in itself makes me tired...and i only have myself to blame.
i want to ask Master for maintenance to drive my pain away but i know that would only be the wrong reason and not a good idea, so i must work through it and turn around a bad few minutes into good ones.
i refuse to get hurt by a man who i should love, but am close to losing every stitch of self respect that i have for him, and i refuse to allow it to damage Master and my marriage... not anymore. Time will tell if i allow him to continue to hurt me or if i take the option that was offered by Master to just not allow him near me or to speak to me  any more.
Have a wonderful Sunday all
i am now going to

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Saturday, 4 January 2014

A gentle reminder

 i thought that i was doing pretty well today, making Master His breakfast , boiled eggs...  dippy soldiers, and coffee, ( and getting the yolks just right) taking the dog out, fetching the bread etc..... but i had a little hiccup ...
We were sitting eating our eggs and He asked "why are you soaking wet" "its raining outside when i took the dog out, and i wanted to get You breakfast before my bath Master" should have been my reply , but instead it went.......... "i haven't had my bath". This was not the right answer to the question as i was told , option one being the better one...... but my brain was racing ahead trying to get things done before i relaxed in my bath.. 
Master replied that wasn't what he had asked and i got a rap on my arm ( not hard but enough to make me focus,  (bucket list  number 3 comes to mind... listen the first time things are said oops ) So then came the option one answer, and i got a lecture about not dripping everywhere and catching colds so i am not healthy for Him. 
Afterwards though He did put the heating on and run me a hot and very relaxing bath. i think that i should start thinking before i answer Him, because He has obviously upped the observation and communication stakes to make me mind and keep to that bucket list this year..........
( for now the yellow folder stays sitting on the window in the office .. i only hope i can master the bucket list before He throws the next set into the greater plan of things... it's a little like being a newbie again and being retrained , but i obviously needed this badly. ) 
Hugs to all 
have a good weekend

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Friday, 3 January 2014

Yesterday Master took me into the little town near us and brought me some  more art supplies,  This included  a proper calligraphy set, some card and the yellow folder, plus a rule made of hardened plastic. ( He couldn't find the wooden one that He wanted. ) i of course am happy because i have struggled with my hand writing ( my tic does not always allow for nice neat writing let alone neat writing in ink, and so i see lots of concentration and studying here as it is always something that i have wanted to do better, for my memory book and other things.
The dreaded yellow folder is quite innocently looking at me on the office window, empty at the moment.... but still taunting me, and it is still a love hate relationship , for i know i want it , i have earned it, but i also know that harder consequences will follow if i do not keep to it.
The bucket list for 2014 is safely on the wall and i have been trying to keep to it , i wonder though if i may regret the *learn not to fidget and be still *  point, but only time will tell. i also have a little feeling in the pit of my tummy that Master plans to make sure this year things are kept to and do not fall by the wayside. ( and secretly i am glad , i feel more secure knowing He has my back)
Now i am off to make sweet potato chunky chips and salmon for dinner.
have fun all
saffy x

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 2 January 2014

 This morning has brought blue skies and fluffy white clouds, and after all the rain for the last few days it is a refreshing change to not be greeted with cold and grey. Master and i continue to have the house to ourselves.. ( though this will probably change today) and it is very peaceful, although i kind of miss having the young adults about at times.
In a moment i have to wake Master up, as He has promised a trip out.... maybe to get my yellow folder, and a couple of rulers that He wants.. but for now i am sitting and reading blogs , and trying to keep my promise of updating my one.
For now i guess i better go and make Master His coffee , and start his day, take care all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Wednesday, 1 January 2014

out with a bang, and in with an even louder one

 Well Master certainly saw out the new year with a bang for me... He put my head in a clear frame to be flying with His dragon cane. Just before midnight, He ordered me to the bedroom and told me to lay in position over the bed.... then came some pretty hard raps with that cane ( and believe me i felt every one of them because it has not been used for so long.) He also drew a smiley face on my bum cheek with a marker pen, which i can not scrub off.
By this time i was like putty and would have melted for Him had He have asked, but He told me "downstairs to listen to the new year chimes" The fireworks on the television were spectacular, watching them explode, and apparently they were meant to smell of fruit also ( though obviously they didn't over the television. ) We had some quick new year messages from the family and i headed off to bed, only to be woken up in what seems a minute later by Master to finish what He started.
He certainly allowed me relieve from the ache that had been building up inside and i came for Him over and over again, unable to keep quiet or still... what a way to start the new year and end the old one................with a bang
Hope all is good with everyone

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 HAPPY 2014 from M.K and saffy .

( hope it is the best year yet)

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .