Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Bratgirl returns

Yesterday was better left forgotten, "but" if i forget about it then i can not learn from it. i had started off with a yucky peak flow reading, ( rape is out and the pollen has been  playing havoc with me) And so because i felt ill , i have very little tolerance with things that may or may not bother me.
Master's advice, wrap up warm( i am hot already) and take my inhalers, perhaps having a shower to wash away the pollen.
The day progressed... i dint think i was being that bad, and i tried to avoid people, right up until i had served dinner, and then for some reason brat girl (me)thought she could answer back to a question, in a sassy manor. ( no i am not proud of it now, but i was not in a good mood at the time. ~ and so significant it was i can not even remember what i had said...
i can remember , i refused to get the room ready for a play , while Master bathed.. sighs.. i should have learnt that an order is an instant obey ~ instead i pouted and wanted a cuddle. i didn't feel well, but i had not told Master the extent that i didn't feel well, and i expected Him to be mind reading. It just didn't happen. Instead, i got a massive lecture about being unsubmissive like....  at which point i crumbled.
Playtime was cancelled, Master did not feel good about what had happened and i felt rubbish, a because of my asthma and the fact i had not told Him i was ill. He was angry about this, not in a nasty way but in a lecture way. ( and He had every right to be)
i felt bad for the rest of the night until three am  i finally woke up having a really bad attack.. He of course was brilliant and got my inhalers and spacer.. but it left me shattered. , i should be looking after Him and i hate the fact that if i feel ill i know the first thing that goes out of the window is my obedience.
Today has been full of rest ( for me) and trying to be the best girl i can for Him. He is even cooking dinner tonight.. i feel spoilt but at the same time as though part of me has been taken away.
Hugs to all out there

 ps the chalk board is now up to 4..... just as well it is nearly the end of the month.

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Sunday, 26 May 2013

they are back

 For nearly a year Master has not used points ( or chalkboard marks) i of course was quite happy about this as i was able to forget my misdoings... and at times get quite bratty ( i am ashamed of that bratty bit,) Anyhow, i waffle,  whilst clearing out my old post and discovering how many blogs i used to read on here had vanished , i found some some posts that had not been posted and posted them.. one being the one that was about quick chalk marks gained in May.... i of course made the mistake of asking Master why we did not use these any more......and yesterday afternoon i was given two in a the same amount of days.
Of course i felt somewhat pipped about it and tried to persuade Master that we didn't really need the chalk board to remake an appearance , but it is back. And whats more it is staying, because any doubts that i didn't need it were abandoned because of my silly attempts to say otherwise.
( the secret is maybe i am quite happy about this because although i hate to be punished i find that it gives me a warm safe feeling , a) that i know He is caring about me to correct me, and b) it gives me a decent length of rope. ..........i honestly didn't realise how much a diva i had got at times.
This morning when He woke, i got  a nice treat of Him taking me out , both for meal and to a car boot sale where i got loads of red  leather for a knock down price of a pound,  (drools)  The smell in our car was wonderful on the journey home as the heat made it smell yummy. Toy making here i come again. He also spent 20p on a troll for me with bright yellow hair. ( it is really a keyring , but i love it as i used to have one when i was younger....but with pink hair.)
The peacock imprint is now a pretty shade of purples , yellows and near enough blacks. and i quite like looking at it.
Hope everyone else is having such a yummy Weekend.

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Friday, 24 May 2013

buy one get one free

yesterday was not the best in the start of it . .... Our husky decided to slip its leash when my son was taking her for a walk and even though a couple (who have huskies of their own) caught her for him , i realise just how lucky she was, as she got out of her head harness right near a main road. ( having  "hated" the loneliness that came with having no dong/fur baby./husky to greet and love you when we lost out first one i was filled with terror until i knew she was safe, and then came the million and one other thoughts that haunt you afterwards.. such as what if she had have caused cars to crash, etc.... )
Not a good morning for me....
This playing on my mind i struggled to focus on the most mundane of tasks and ended up losing a full day ( or at least it felt like it as i drifted from pillar to post , i ended up doing a mini meditation at the quiet spot Master has allowed me at the top of the garden .
Master obviously realised just how much i had been wound up by this because He sprung a surprise dinner on me , ( a wonderful curry at our local Indian ) and then when we got home He decided it was time to test the sandals that we had purchased the few days before. I am in love... they hurt like hell, ( that was the idea though,) they leave really good pictures of the peacocks tail on the said slapped area and i want more... ( however it was buy one get one free.... two different areas of the body tested to see how they came out) and i now have to wait for a play time... though i have a sneaky suspect that these may come out during non play days as well.
Have a good weekend all
( marks out of ten for those plastic/rubber flip flops ..... 11/10 in all places. :D )
the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

strike one

 Sometimes when we do things, i think that fate must be tempted, and it all  changes. This happened to me the other day when i noticed that i hadn't updated my virtual chalkboard that i have on this page. It still had April on it as the month and we were now well into May. 

Feeling extremely pleased with myself (because it was the 11th of the month and there had been no strikes to add to the chalk board,) i proudly typed in zero where the tally of the marks go, and felt rather smug. Ah but the saying is pride comes before fall, and within five minutes of writing zero , i had earned a silly mark just for back chatting Master. I felt gutted. 

Now i know to back chat A/anyone is never a good idea , it shows no respect , and makes me look an idiot with the smart Alex comments that drifted from my mind so easily to my lips, however i think my brain had gone on holiday and , according to Master , i had been having little remarks all day. To tell Master it was His turn to make coffee was not the best of ideas, (and i don't know why i even said it as i love getting coffee for Him) But say it i did...and so one point is staring at me from the page and the blackboard. 

So far i have not been silly enough to earn 20 points in  a month....Nor do i wish to be. i have no idea what would happen if i did reach that magic number, but i don't think i really want to find out. Master is a really fair person and i doesn't give out points or corrections just on a whim , so to do so it would say i had been particularly bratty .

hugs to all


the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 23 May 2013

Shopping did you say..........

 Yesterday, Master managed to surprise me with a shopping trip..... It started off with the phrase, you can have anything that you long as its for play.
Well, i headed into the town near us, got treated to dinner..... and then visited hundreds of shoe shops...(looking for illusive shoe that will make a pattern on the bum) Finally i found some rubbery plastic flip flops with peacocks on the bottom.( vagually i think they might have been a mistake lol)
 Master also managed to find an out sized wooden spoon there which is really for a preserve pan but He had that glint  in his eye when He got it.  Then He picked up some wood, some tacks and all sorts of things from the local garden centre, and went in a pet store on his own after forbidding me to go in ( i spend a fortune in there on our husky of i go in and i was tired by this time .)
Now i wait with baited breath to see what emerges from all the things that He brought and try to think of a few ways to loose the spoon.
have a good day all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Marking the property

 While walking with the dog this morning my mind was drawn to the different ways that people mark their bins, ( it was garbage day and the path was strewn with wheelie bins waiting to be emptied) Some had stencilled their house number on, some brought stickers, some just dabbed the number in paint that was left over from decorating, and the minority had no number on at all. A couple stuck out , one was the bin with half its lid broken off , and the other was one with a delicate piece of ribbon on it.
Then my mind wandered in the ways that the various people have marked their slaves in the past, For me in the past i wore a leather collar for many years locked on and i was forbidden to remove it unless i was at the hairdresser , swimming or bathing. These days i have a delicate silver chain ( i dont do gold that well as it makes me come out in a rash) which has a silver heart on it. ( it is the most precious item i ever wear , as Master brought it for me whilst on a trip to London)
I have seen in on line chat rooms , (when been allowed to enter them and spend time in the past) the importance a girl/boy places on being able to say that he/she is collared, and can understand this to a certain extent. ( but my mind also wonders how these people would react to having to wear these in real..... i think i got away with mine because of my body art, although it did draw looks from people sometimes.....)
Then i think about the other discrete marks Master has given me during the time i have been collared to Him , i loved having his initials carved in my buttocks , and then there are the numerous bruises and welts from the canes , floggers and paddles.All hidden but ....aware to me because of the reminder they give me when i walk sit or stand at times.
He does not allow anymore tattoos, as the one i have covers the third of my body so this would be out, really since i have lost touch with the artist who designed it i wouldn't want anymore any how, and greater still is the reason that He has said i can NOT have anymore.  i pondered on piercings at one point and whether to be begging to be allowed a special one... but i guess that this would not be allowed as i had to remove most of mine before i was His.
Then i remember the glitch we had over  a year ago , when He went back to London and i gave Him back my silver heart and chain, i was gutted that He done that but it did teach me that even though i had no visible mark on me that made me His , deep inside i was His. It was in my actual heart , engraved deeply and binding me to Him tighter and deeper than any other mark ever could. I couldn't remove it, and nor would i want to . i love Him
i also love my heart and chain..... but like most bins with their marks , this can be removed, the mark of ownership and love that i have in my heart cant .....i am blessed.
Have a good day all
((hugs saffy))

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Sunday, 19 May 2013

 Today didn't have the best of starts , as  when i went to make the breakfast i realised that the sink had got blocked and now had fat firmly plugging up the drain. ( thanks to the middle son thinking that he could pour grease  down it) and so for the next hour ( i am no plumber) i set about unblocking it. Not a nice or pleasant job as the washing machine pipe had to be degunged also.
Sitting in a puddle of water i realised just how lucky that i was that most days i do not have to do jobs like this. It wasn't pleasant and it was made worse by being ravenous for my breakfast.
Out of the window went my resolution of the other day of being super slave and in walked super diva again. ( i get cranky when i need food) Poor Master came downstairs just as i was putting the water on for the boiled eggs, and of course i had to fight the battle in my head not to be grumpy but try to smile.  Eventually i snapped out of it and have ended up having a nice evening with just myself and Master as the son has gone out.
The peace of just being able to spend time with Him is lovely, and at least we can be ourselves and not worry about being judged. Life is good, but tomorrow i must get back and focus on my instructions for otherwise it will not be long before He pulls me on it and i want Him to be proud more than anything in the world.
hugs to all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Thursday, 16 May 2013

im not a boy scout

 Today has been incredibly difficult for me and i am fighting not to be a diva brat, but just to quietly go on my way and do chores. Master is not well,  he seems to have picked up some sickness bug from the hospital the other day, and has slept the best part of the day away.
So on the brief 5 minutes that i saw Him before He went back to bed , He told me to go do the shopping and vanished back to sleep.
The bratty part of me hates Thursdays for grocery shopping with all the people in the stores, forgetting to get out of the way, and hates trying to be organised enough to remember all things that will be needed.  ( and for those people who do this type of thing every day, it is a nightmare for me , as i spent  many years recovering from agoraphobia until i met Master , and it is just one of my disabilities that He has worked on to over come with me ) Well after having a mini panic attack i arrived home with quite a sensible groceries purchase , and have been swinging from diva to brat in my mind ever since.
Himself is still asleep, and i keep wanting to go and poke Him to make sure that He's breathing OK, but i know deep inside i have to keep calm and get on with life or else there will be hell to pay later. i CAN do this and i will.
hugs to all

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

fangs alot

Every so often Master will come up to me and bite, not a soft nibble but a full on hard bite down on what ever part of the body His teeth lands on. For some people this might be a turnoff , but for me it pushes all the buttons and makes me feel His and owned. It is sore afterwards.... but it is a good type sore, a little reminder that makes me feel safe and secure (yeah , well i like pain) and shows me that even though i can not get a spank or slap he can still mark and own me.
For the rest of the day i float rather than try to bolt ahead and take the lead ( yup even now i still try and do this) I guess it is a little like the nip an adult dog gives her/his pups to bring them in line, but other days it is just because He can. ( i wonder what he will do if if gets old and his teeth fall out... maybe buy some of the false ones above. )
life is good and all is calm have a good day all
hugs saffy
the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Monday, 13 May 2013

where will this slipper fit .

 Yesterday i had  a suggestion made to me that i started to blog again, ( yes i know i have taken a LONG break from it all ) It wasn't an order,but it made me feel that i could and indeed should blog again as it helps so much.
So here i am back again and not knowing really what to type and i guess Himself could say that i am waffling a little at the moment, but i have this post in my mind about gym shoes.
Gym shoes.... the idea was planted in my brain and makes me feel wanton towards them... just another form of play, but the idea of the different imprints that you can get on the bottom of these pieces of footwear being transformed onto to my skin turns me on. So much so that since He suggested it i have almost drooled every time i pick a pair of casual shoes up , all be it plimsolls, jelly shoes or even some type of flip flops.
When we go to the stores i feel myself drawn to the beach shoes and have a small smirk on my face. However, the reality is that we have allstars at home that could be used for this job. ( watch this space i promise to write a report when the play takes place. )
i am still taking the long road of relearning to love His canes . His dragon cane i must admit is quite yummy especially on my inner thighs but the secret is to relax  ( not easy to do some times) and  not think of the past. Memories still hold me back in fear and yet He is nothing like my Dominant Partners of the past, and i can not ever see Him lashing out in anger.
i have missed being part of the community and having people of like minds around me, and some days in this past year i have felt alone and lost if this is possible. Not because of Master, but because there are very few people that i can share this side of my life with , who would understand . And so even though i do not see the readers that read the blog i have re opened it in the hope that i will not feel so freakish for enjoying pain and the pleasure that play brings me. And for wanting and needing to be a half that is made whole by her One.
Stay happy all
hugs saffy.

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .