Bratgirl returns

 Sighs,
Yesterday was better left forgotten, "but" if i forget about it then i can not learn from it. i had started off with a yucky peak flow reading, ( rape is out and the pollen has been  playing havoc with me) And so because i felt ill , i have very little tolerance with things that may or may not bother me.
Master's advice, wrap up warm( i am hot already) and take my inhalers, perhaps having a shower to wash away the pollen.
The day progressed... i dint think i was being that bad, and i tried to avoid people, right up until i had served dinner, and then for some reason brat girl (me)thought she could answer back to a question, in a sassy manor. ( no i am not proud of it now, but i was not in a good mood at the time. ~ and so significant it was i can not even remember what i had said...
i can remember , i refused to get the room ready for a play , while Master bathed.. sighs.. i should have learnt that an order is an instant obey ~ instead i pouted and wanted a cuddle. i didn't feel well, but i had not told Master the extent that i didn't feel well, and i expected Him to be mind reading. It just didn't happen. Instead, i got a massive lecture about being unsubmissive like....  at which point i crumbled.
Playtime was cancelled, Master did not feel good about what had happened and i felt rubbish, a because of my asthma and the fact i had not told Him i was ill. He was angry about this, not in a nasty way but in a lecture way. ( and He had every right to be)
i felt bad for the rest of the night until three am  i finally woke up having a really bad attack.. He of course was brilliant and got my inhalers and spacer.. but it left me shattered. , i should be looking after Him and i hate the fact that if i feel ill i know the first thing that goes out of the window is my obedience.
Today has been full of rest ( for me) and trying to be the best girl i can for Him. He is even cooking dinner tonight.. i feel spoilt but at the same time as though part of me has been taken away.
Hugs to all out there
saffy

 ps the chalk board is now up to 4..... just as well it is nearly the end of the month.

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .