revel revel.

 Yesterday was like being given a bag of those  sweets called revels ....a large plastic bag full of chocolate with different centres in them. Some of them where absolutely yummy but every so often there was one that you would rather not have put in your mouth.
The day was good in the fact i think that i made MK happy , and we got some time to ourselves, ( a precious thing at the moment and very valuable) but there was that one sweet as so to use that crepet in my mouth in the fact that i had to say i couldnt do a session with Master.  i guess i am lucky that He didnt proceed anyhow, despite my feelings , but i know after the build up of last month and the negativity that He and i had worked hard to remove from our relationship, at that split second when He had me cufffed to the bed , i was not ready to play, and neither He or i would have got anything at all from the session.
He was very understanding, more so than i deserved, but inside i felt hollow and as if i had really let Him down. i now sit her as i type it wondering how i am going to get over this block that arrived there yesterday and if i will feel like that at the next play session and trying not to cry. ( i hate failing Him , but i am trying to look at it that if i hadnt have said that i couldnt do the play session and had have carried on reguardless then i might have made the barrier even bigger. ) 
On  a more positive note Master seems to be giving me more defined boundries, and i feel more secure for this...
have fun all on this windy blustry day
saffy



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .