saffy's travels

 For ages it would seem ( i am learning to be patient) i have been on a self improvement kick. i thought very carefully to start off with what one thing i would like to be better in myself. ( i wanted to kid myself and try and tell me, that i am perfect ~ but in my heart of hearts i know there are bits of me that i get frustrated and niggled over.
One of my big things is because of my dyspraxia, and slight autistic tendency at times, i think i seem to want things to happen straight away just because a person , or people, have said it will happen. Master is good about this and has got used to wording things so i do not get into a tizz about things but still i get frustrated when it happens ( as it always seems to in life)
For a long time i compared myself to others that i would read about or see on line , and i began to feel that my worth was not much, (forgetting the most important thing that i was perfect for Himself as He had not only chosen me to be His , He had married me as well. ) Different months would go by, and i should think that i drove Him up the wall wanting to try this and that to improve.
Forgetting still yet again what was perfect for some would not fit into the life style that  He and i had carved for ourselves. And getting angry with myself as well as i felt in many ways that i was letting Him down.
So what changed........ nothing really i can still read the pages , i think it used to be  a little like wanting the same three piece as your neighbour if this makes sense, but for a strange reason unknown to myself i no longer seem to want to have others rules, others life's, realising at last what we have is unique and special. With His blessing now i will ask if i can do things to improve myself. The only stipulation He seems to give is that i am respectful and that it makes me happy and does not harm any one ...
Have a good and happy day
saffy





the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .