Saturday, 11 December 2010
I think that Master is trying to teach me a lesson as todays word was frustration . See i keep seeing a belt that i brought Him to go with his trousers when out on a shopping trip , moved and left where i can not fail to notice it.
Perhaps i would be best to explain here that i have a deep passion for thick leather belts whipped across my backside or thighs or breasts , it awakens a desire inside of me that causes my brain to go from brat to slave in 0.5 seconds or less and a wetness that would rival the flood that comes with noah and his ark...........and Master knows this.
Maybe it was my deep desire to have that belt kiss my body that made me buy it for Master , coupled of course with the knowledge that he realy did need a belt for His trousers ...but ever since it came home it has sat mocking me and not once has it touched my skin. :(
So enters the word frustration.... i'm like a kid that can see a bar of chocolate but knows she can not touch it....my body craves it, but i realise after being given this word i will not be rewarded with it until such time that He deems it right . (boy i hope that time soon hurrys up)
Frustration for me leaves me on the one hand bratty and wanting to be bad just incase i can prevoke a punishment or a bit of negative attention , but at the same time this good little girl side springs through and battles trying to win His approval the whole time then completing a circle of disgruntlement as i worry he may not realise . ( weird thing is i only have to communciate this feeling to Him and He may or may not compansate me with some pain.)
It also shows me a reminder everytime i see that it reminds me of the good times that i have had with such things and i know it will be one heck of a climax when i am finally allowed to cum .
So i conclude maybe frustration is a teaching tool as well and makes me patient ,and learn that the best things come with not being a bratt but being good and calm. It certainly has heightened my knowledge that i may try to put ideas into His head about what i think i need but i am not in control He, is and until He decides the time is right it just is not happening .
the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .