Saturday, 4 December 2010


the training to act in accordance to rules,
an activity or regimen that improves or develops a skill
punishment inflicted by the way of correctiveness and training
A set or system of rules and regulations

Discipline is important to me as it gives me a sense of safety. There is something comforting about knowing how far boundries are, and what is expected of you. About knowing a routine of things that normally happen ( and i put normally here because life does have  a quirky way of throwing a spanner in even the most orderly of schedules)A bit i guess like a security blanket gives a baby comfort i guess that my rules soothe me.
It is doubley important to me in some ways because of my dyspraxia to follow a routine. If i follow schedules i know that i will not forget to do things, like i do when i deviate away from them. Master fortunately realises this and keeps me focused on the straight and narrow. ( focus is another thing that is hard when you are dyspraxic). Sadly though sometimes i am stubborn and try to do things that put me in a not so safe place ( ie walking in the snow and ice on my own when i am prone to falls, because i want to be independant ) and i get a verbal reminder that if i continue to act rashly there will be consequences.
I do not honestly think that anyone in this lifestyle 24/7 would be silly enough to break all the rules that are put out by our Ones to keep us safe on purpose, but their are times minor blips happen (after all we are not computers) and then repercussions occur. I think my Master is quite fair with me in the fact he gives me a warning that i am stretching boundries at the times when i have done this, and i think i would not push Him to see what the worst bottom line would be, ( not because i am frightened of Him but because if it got to the stage that i had to be punished because i had broken every single rule then i would end up hurting Him in disappointment and probably losing Him as i wouldnt be a good slave to have.)
Just as he is strict with me in His discipline i have to reflect obedience back at Him and i hope i am learning to do this. I am not a doormat  , but i know the merits of following an order , however,  i do question when i dont understand something ..
 Incase you are wondering , i love pain, but i wouldnt consider breaking rules and being punished by Him to get a harsh spanking or anything .
  1. because He keeps my pain desires and wants topped up anyhow so why should i be so rude as to do this.
  2. because punishment disipline is cold and impersonal , yes it hurts good but it is not a good pain. 
  3.  because as i mentioned above it would mean i have wasted my time and His and that is not a good thing as it would be hurtful and disrespectful to Him. 
 I desire and  more importantly need discipline and strictness in my life to make me feel secure and i am glad that i know , if i do something wrong or do not follow guidelines , He will have no qualms in correcting me in the way He feels fit to do so. It is not easy and plain sailing  for me to do this all the time ( especially when hormones etc creep in ) but with His help i will shine in my servitude to Him and remain whole.
Thankyou Master for keeping me safe .x x

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

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