for stormy with love and light .........

Some times when reading other peoples journals, you read things that end up teaching you, (all be it in a subtle way,) sometimes we get ideas from others, sometimes the writing makes us laugh, sometimes cry .......... i guess every blog that i follow , i chose because maybe i saw a part of me in it, or it stirred an emotion .What ever the reason i have become emotionally attached to each and every one of you in some way or another.
i guess that's why, when reading a certain  ladies blog the other night , it tugged really hard on my heart and i have not been able to get it from my mind ever since. 

This is the blog that i am talking about . i do not know much about the life style that she has chosen to follow with her Husband , apart from  the information that i have read about over the last few months..... but from what i can gather it is about showing respect to her husband and letting him be the boss. i can not judge what has happened or the context , words that we type here are sometimes only in one dimension, and at the best two........
All i do know is that this lady, has made me laugh at times with her writings, she has the knack of  adding a bite of humor to maybe a droll situation. i love the way that she is cheeky to almost a bratty standard at times , but more than that i adore the fact that she has been taking baby steps along her pathway and growing so much.  To read the writing that she wrote last time was like looking at a toy that had been somehow in a battle and had the stuffing knocked out of it. More than anything i wanted to reach out and hug her .
Stormy ( yes you, cos by now you must know i am blogging about you)  you are wrong.... you have so much left to give , (but maybe its like making a cake this lifestyle that you are in, all the right ingredients are there , but the method to put it together or the temperature to cook it is not quite right)
i know the path that Master and i follow is not the same as yours, for a start if i had your lifestyle i might find myself being bad  a whole lot more than you , as i enjoy what your Husband has set as a punishment .... but having said this maybe i wouldn't enjoy it if i thought that i was getting things wrong the whole time. i know i hate my chalk board and collecting points on there.
i came to the conclusion after thinking about this allot , that the only two people that can sort this out would be you and him in talking and being open and honest with each other... maybe neither of you know what the problems that you are facing are , but the fact that you say you are trying your best and not giving up shines through.
And by the way........you are wrong, you do have something. you have courage, determination , and spunk. Its not easy to face things that we  wobble about. i  know how hard it is to allow another to take control, and trust, that they will do an equal if not better job than we ourselves can do. i had massive problems allowing my now Master to have control over what i saw as my money because of the gambling debts a previous partner has left me in. ( i didn't realise that i was having this trouble until it was gently pointed out to me,) and then the B/both of us were able to work it out together.
It took allot for me to realise how much my One cares and loves me , and believe me we are still ironing out issues , some of which date back to my childhood , that i had buried and thought i had lost.
My only hope is that you can bounce right back to being the normally chirpy stormy  that you were before , however not at the cost that you hide behind humor and do not flourish and grow yourself. Like a pair of shoes........the lifestyle that you lead has to fit you properly or it will niggle and pinch and you will never be confident or happy in it.
One last thing , i share my blog with Master and leave it open as it allows Him to see inside my head , and i have nothing to hide, but  there has been a time in my life where i have had a partner not be quite so understanding about my writing and he ended up using it to try and destroy me with. Your blog might be your little piece of you that you need , just for you........i am not encouraging you to hide things from him, and maybe as others have said it would help him to read , as he has a record of your positive progress and can see how far you have travelled.......but think about whether you need it at this moment in time as a bolt hole .
Biggest hugs to you and light
  ( i truly hope you feel better about yourself soon and i am thinking about you)
saffy












the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .