Sunday, 28 November 2010

the smallest thing can unlock a tightly closed door.

Silence surrounds me i'm  locked in my world,
The darkness outside starts to approach,
reaching, stumbling, in chaos i am hurled,
and a  lack of concerntration creeps in

thoughts swirling, like a hurricane destroying
 ruining the routine i thought i had
confidence waning, my whole being drowning
As a doubt takes control

Curled in a ball my minds a mess now,
Thoughts spin by out of control,
but in the distance i hear His voice somehow,
like a torch guiding the way in the dark.

Carefully i emcompass the words He gives me,
each one soothing the worries and confusion away,
the mist lifts and at last now i can see ,
The path that is right  for me .

I wanted to try and describe how i felt before i had any routine or instructions to follow , and how in the past depression and self doubt had made me feel like a prisoner. Thankfully, like the words that i used, Master was abit like one of those rescue service people, that find broken down cars, and has started to slowly but surely restore my whole self back to a person i can love and want to cherish
Neither of us can guarantee that my depression will not come back, but at least i know the tools to fight it with and know i do not have to battle it on my own. I consider myself lucky , i have an amazing Man in my life that understands my need for order and a routine , and indeed pain ( but controlled pain). I trust this Person with every fibre in my body because time and time again He has shown me that He can lead me to a safe place where nothing will ever damage me .

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