i am the worlds worst person for covering up in the hot sunshine... Its not as though i do it on purpose but every year i can remember getting a little sun burnt . This year is different.. instead of buying me sun glasses that Master always threatens to glue to my nose , Master got me a hat like the white one above and some suntan lotion to spread over my uncovered flesh... i guess i wont be getting sun stroke this year unless i want to get points as well,.....
have a good day all
saffy



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 Sorry, i have not blogged for a while , but Master , the family and i have been busy working out in the garden, which of course brought my asthma on and made me feel really rough. The upside of this is that i now have a beautiful garden, but have to work hard to keep it this way, ( yet another way of giving something nice to Master) The downside is Master has banned me from any jobs that set my asthma off again , and told me their will be severe consequences if i go and forget this bann ... ( and no i dont do it on purpose (forget that is) but i do forget at times.

 my new climbing flower... Master brought for our fence...
i will try and take more pictures as the garden becomes more colourful, hugs to all
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Although i thought that i knew Master rarely checks in at my blog page, (favouring i think, verbal communication,  between myself and Him) i am conscious that on the odd occasion He does check my posts... i never know when this is going to be or whether He will approve of them, so each one that is typed out has to be thought out and has to be as if He was reading it. 
(most of the posts , i think would pass approval , and as of yet i have not had to remove any, and i think that i would like to keep it this way. )
Yesterday turned out to be a good day for the pain slut that hides inside me.... Master decided that He would give me a little teasing taster of a session in the kitchen......this included (among other things) spanking with the wooden spoon....a hard hand spanking to my backside for not answering quick enough, burns with hot water and via a teaspoon to the breasts/nipples and of course plenty of slaps for them. Boy do i feel better... yes the lethargy is still there but i feel like His girl again.  ( funny how when He doesn't touch me because i am ill that i worry subconsciously that i am not slave enough for Him anymore.)
Today has brought rain , rain and more rain, but i feel calm and loved..i hope everyone else's weekend is going so well
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 For the last week i have been really down on myself , and yes quite cross as well. 
 Why? 
 Because it would seem that everyone who has a problem wanted and choose that week to dump it on my doorstep, and whilst normally i can deal with peoples problems for the best of the time... i found myself sinking and becoming a brat because i wasn't dealing with what they were throwing at me... and could no longer separate myself from their issues. 
Master had kept quiet throughout all of this , but on the odd occasion i saw Him glance over at me and was frowning, and of course then i wanted His approval so i started to try and add things mentally on my lists that had been given (despite orders from the Dr not to do so much) and then added tiredness to my crosspatch attitude. Not a good combination. 
At one time i begged for the cane .. (not the devil one but the one i hate) to try and punish myself , which ended up with Master telling me in no uncertain terms that He and He alone chose when i should be punished not me. :( . ( and i didn't get caned) ....In fact i got nothing but told to focus on the important things which was getting me better and of course i mentally added caring for Him on there as well....but i am not so stupid as to realise that i have be well to do this. 
So for now people with problems that have been dumping on my doorstep can talk to Master instead (lol) ( they wont because He is not a soft touch and will not give them money and fall for sob stories............the way i do. ) And i have gone back to writing again... with remembering to communicate... 
Have a good weekend all..
saffy
 



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 Hmmm, over night it would seem some google fairy's have come along and changed the way that my blog was set out to run, and being a creature of habit i am not sure if i like it or not.....
On a more upbeat not Master doled out a little pain to me , and i feel like a new woman.. all worries and cares have seemed to vanish and i am left in a fuzzy warm place of feeling loved and cared for.  It seems weird to get this feeling just over a session but it makes me complete and feel alive and vibrant. Proof... He didn't have a down girl waiting for Him, and i completed my tasks with that sensation that you get when you know that you are cared for..... (hmm should i need to have a session to feel cared for or a smacked bum.. NO, perhaps that is not written right.....) The only word i can use to describe it is that for me it is like some people feel about their make up or accessories... vulnerable.. naked.. (not in a good way) if they are made to go without them for a while... Yes you can function, but it does not feel right...Pain and maintenance is right for me ..
hugs to you all,
from a smiley happy  saffy



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

blips lie a radar showing a war invasion

 Yesterday was a blip, i lost myself and felt alone. It was over the simplest of things , but i feel really low over it . Today, i am going to turn the problem about and not allow it to take me over completely. Trouble is i feel apart of it has knocked my confidence as a submissive/slave away, (and lord knows it has taken long enough to build up) i guess i have to be thankful that M still has faith in me , in  being His partner, His slave , and His friend and build up from there , but sometimes i just wish there were more who are into my lifestyle that i could talk to around here
have a good day all
saffy



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 On a trip to town with Master the other day He was pleased as punch to point out several patches of stinging nettles that He saw to me .......i had said that i could not find any in the garden... Big mistake now i know where there are many... ( good job that i really like them hidden about my clothing...)
Hope all is well with all
saffy


the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

peeping in

 i was given the most beautiful gift the other day by Master... not one that cost anything in money terms, just time. What was it? ... He came and helped me to rinse my hair while i was having  a bath the other day. Why was this special to me? because it made me feel kind of humble in a way that He took time out of His day to assist me.
For months i have been suffering from alopecia, brought on by a massive dose of stress, and bath time had been quite an issue for me seeing more and more of my then long hair fall out. On Master's suggestion i had it cut and it has become easier to manage, plus while it was still shredding there didnt seem to be so much floating about.
i know that i balance my Master as much as He balances me and i am greatful that He is there so much for me , neither of U/us planned on being ill but we have had a year of it , hopefully though, that is becoming in the past and things will start to look brighter again.
hugs to all
saffy


the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

you know you have been tangoed.......

For weeks now i have been without a computer of my own, having to borrow Master's spare , but not liking using it for it because at the end of the day it isn't mine..... Is anything really i wonder.... See Master has never been mean to me and said that i can not have anything that i need.... wanting something is a different matter though.... For weeks i practised the art of typing in third person because He banned the word "i" and no word NO as well. Thankfully there is now a break from this , and i will appreciate now the allowance of being able to use i as a name for myself again, Never forgetting that it could be taken away just as quick..... The same with clothes, Oh i know they are mine, but, He has final say when i go clothes shopping, , but i get to have feminine classic clothes, rather than fashion, that is hip one moment and not so much the next..( and no i am not complaining i like to wear nice things that suit me)
i realise that He is always looking out for my interests , and He never ceases to surprise me with gifts of  things like flowers, days out, classical music that i love, and sometimes candy. This doesn't make me spoilt, but it does make me feel like the most loved and protected girl on this earth, and all i have to do in return is submit to Him and balance......W/we make a good whole and i am a lucky girl to have this Man in my life. 
The latest surprise to come my way is a bright orange and black P.C. ( nick named tango by B/both of U/us ) which He and i am to pick up tomorrow... hopefully then my friends i will be able to feel more comfortable to blog more and keep this journal up to date. 
Hope you are all well this lovely spring day......
hugs... saffy




the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another

Today was  about feeling safe. For  it was a rusty start with a few hiccups , and then a touch of pain with a deft hand from Master to her breast , a teaspoon burning her a little, and she felt safe and secure again. After seeing some photos on Masters chat page from another person it woke up old pains in her like an addict wanting a drink.( These were of cuts on the body, of  a person self harming...she is proud to say it has been years since she last cut herself.......but the yearn at times is still there.)
Luckily enough when these times come Master for the most recognises this, ( or seems to) and will dole out controlled pain , as well as spending time to talk and try and sort the problems out. For her , the cutting was always about releasing the pain, and never about wanting to damage herself... but it is a pointless and vicious circle and one she has promised not to go down again,
She is proud to be His and to walk by His side and knows that she has His love.
hugs to all

saffy


the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

nightmare

 In the fresh light of this morning she can see that her nightmares of the evening before were unfounded again. All this week since Saturday she has been dreaming of people /her dog being killed. These are not nice dreams and she is at loss to know what to do to make it any different.....Not wanting to bother Master with this she is trying to deal with it on her own, but last nights dream was horrid, of her dog being doused in an acid and brutally beaten , and ended in her finding her in the morning half eaten away.
Just a nightmare...and not nice, and now to pull up her big girl pants and get on with the day with a smile..dreams are dreams, but in that hazey moment when she opens her eyes and before she wakens properly  it was a reality .
Here's to hope that everyone else is sleeping and dreaming better than her.
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

six old coins

 Master gave this one play yesterday... The first time that He has been able to give her a long session in a while. she of course was nervous,( what if she could not relax... ) He placed on her cuffs.... she said she wasn't sure, He said to late......and of course she knew He was right. The afternoon past in a satisfying haze, of floggers made of different materials, His devil cane, some hot tiger balm a butt plug and the new vibrator thing...(magic wand) There was definitely some other sensations in there also , but she couldn't tell anyone what they were......she was to far in sub space. He didn't allow her to retreat to her private place she goes to( He changed the rhythm ) and this time she flew beautifully for her Master.
He has told her that now, she has to earn her play times, and has to get rid of six old coins that He has given her in a spare purse.If they are still there at the end of the month , it will be instant punishment. Now Y/you should know that this one hates punishment , more than anything....(not that it would seem like it at the rate she has collected March points).......but ..because it means that she has failed her One. Constantly He reassures her that she is His good girl... but because of childhood and pre Master adulthood memories she finds it hard even now to accept compliments in the faith that they are given.
Of course she still has His correction system in place.....for her ten points a month before she gets a major punishment.......but there is now this coin system in place as well... Ah well at least the earning ways to spend them is fun.
Have a good rest of the weekend all...

 hugs  to A/all
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

from zero to 6 in one day

 Yesterday was not this ones day.After posting about not having points and being glad it was the beginning of the month, this one managed to clock up six in one day.(mostly due because of saying the wrong things and not focusing) Now  with that thought in mind that there is thirty-one days in March and this is only the second day. Definately not this ones week to not gain points. and no she wont tempt fate by saying that  at least there are four more left to get.
hope you are all having a better start to the month

saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 A new beginning, of a new month, and hopefully this one will run allot more smoother than the last two. There has been plenty to think about while doing her chores, and she has missed her computer a great deal....(she still is even though Master has allowed her to borrow His, it is not the same as having her pictures , music that she likes under one roof as so to speak.) However maybe this has taught her a lesson that maybe she was getting to attached to a material thing and it has been good in that way that she has learnt that her pc is a privilege
Master's medication finally seems to be sorting itself out , though we have it seems hundreds of appointments in the next few months to keep, but hopefully these will ease off as things become better. 
She has missed being able to walk out on her own and have her own space time , though with the warmer weather appearing she knows that she will be able to get out in the garden and attempt to grow more beautiful flowers , herbs and veg and have time with  her wooly dog. 
The good thing about Master's  meds becoming more stable is that He is finally becoming more of His old self again and she is glad to see this... however the slight downer on this was that she managed to clock seven points in under a day, (good thing that it was the end of the month.) This month she plans to get  a big zero at the end of it . 
Hope everybody else is ok in blog land she will catch up with all other blogs later 
hugs

saffy



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 This one has been shamefully neglectful of keeping her blog of late... However feels that this may be justifyable as Master has been really poorly with meds etc and His health and care comes before writing, This is just a short note to say she hasn't ran away and will be back soon.
hugs to all
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

what a week

Sitting here , the snow can be seen from the window.... not deep enough to do anything in (not that there seems to be any energy for this at the moment ....)but laying there taunting , and stopping all the outside jobs from being done. This one feels that this week has been long and she feels more than a little down with it , as the ice and weather conditions stop her from getting so much done and make her rely on others.
All she really wants  to do is hibernate in a ball as the asthma is back and has been playing her up, and the whole time she feels that she is letting down all that she loves because it makes her not function so  efficiently .It's hard remaining cheerful when it feels as if there is an elephant residing on the chest region and the slightest dip in temperature sets off an attack...but she has to try because Master has new tablets and they are not agreeing with Him. So what if she can not do things , she has to find an alternative way to achieve what needs to be done and function for Him. Life is not always plain sailing ...but she will get there.
hugs to all saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

surprise

 So much has happened since this one last posted on here , and she feels that she has neglected her blog a little bit....(however her computer is currently being mended as it was in vital need of some tlc and maintenance, and hopefully it will be back soon.) It's funny how even though she has Master's computer to use as she would her own , she still hankers after hers.
Master has given her two surprises in the past week....(hence the weird title) Both were gifts to help her function, one of them she didn't think she would ever earn back again and she cried when she received it.
One was a silver chain , that represents her collar when she is in nilla mood.......When Master and herself were going through the rough patch and He took a break , she is ashamed to say that she broke her last one and thrust it at Him in frustration of not knowing why and what was happening. Never before has she hurt herself or Him so much by doing this, nor will she ever be so stupid as to do so again. The break was needed for B/both Master and her to share the close bond that she does now with Him. She still has the little heart that was attached to the last one as Master had kept that safe. Now she wears it with love and pride and it helps her to focus when she thinks that she cant.
What did she learn when she didn't have it.....It does not matter really whether she is wearing it or not, as in her mind and heart she is still His  just as she was when it wasn't there. It helps her focus quickly when she has it on, and already she is conscious when she is doing things she is not quite sure of she feels her hand drawn to it ..........she prefers to wear it and He (Master) knows this and has once again allowed her the pleasure of doing so.
The second thing  was a new "toy", . Now  for ages Master has looked for a magic wand by Hitachi for this ones toy bag. For some reason the UK didn't seem to do them., However love honey suddenly made their own design and He decided to treat her to it.
All she can say is WOW . Obviously those who have one of these little (who is she trying to kid little ... more like huge) beauty's will know the pleasure they can instantly lift a girl to. It was during the test run of this, that this girl fell further than she even new was possible into her at oneness with her Master. He took her hand while she was riding the waves of  pleasure and she opened her eyes , looked into His, and saw the love and tenderness in them as He took her deeper and deeper into her sub space. (she finds it very ......she does not have the words to describe to anyone those moments.) The completeness , the love, the security , the passion, the tenderness..... it was all there deep and she will hold it in her mind as long as she lives.
Afterwards as she came down from her space flight.....He held her close and told her how good she was and how He loved her.  Always before there has been a chink in her armour there of the abuse that she had suffered as a child , that somehow what she was doing maybe , just might be dirty and tainted . Some times this was visible to Him sometimes it was not.  Yet like a Dr removing a shard of glass ...He removed that last doubt and she saw the love and tenderness for herself in His eyes.
Thank You Master .
hugs to A/all
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Tired but happy

The routine that Master is trying to work on with this one has been pulled from pillar to post , due to house guests that turn up unannounced and mini adults that have their own agenda and don't realise that others might need to get things done as well... All in all though life is good and if one ignores the negativity that is still thrown her way, it is passable also. She is happy and Master keeps her close and safe and her dog keeps her sane (most of the time)
One of the nicest but worst things that has happened in this week was that she has managed to gain another point for being sassy .. Why nice? Well it means that Master is still keeping a close eye on what she does, and although she would give anything to have that point taken away again......it is there... and it reassures her in an odd way. At the time she didn't even think that the comment was bad .........but looking back it was a bit off.
Ahhh well she will have to keep a closer eye on things .
hugs to all
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

A lovely day

Today brought bright blue skies and the promise of a  trip out for this one... however it forgot to warn her that it would have a cold wind chill and leave her wishing she had have taken her warm scarf. Master  chose and brought her three new items of clothes ... two tops and a pair of loungers for the house ,(she fell in love with the loungers as they were warm and fleecy....) and she notices that gradually He is adding the colour back in her wardrobe as well as her life.
On a down note she has not found time for meditation today as yet ,as shopping came first and took allot longer than she would have thought. BUT it was nice to spend precious minutes and time with Master, and she now has the ingredients for a strawberry birthday cake for her sons friend that she has to make as well.
Hugs and smiles to A/all
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

hair today gone tomorrow.

Since late October time last year this one has suffered badly with alopecia. Its not the first time that it has occurred and probably it will not be the last. Thankfully it is limited at the moment to just two patches ... one medium one and one small one, and can still be disguised under hats and hair bands and careful arranging of hair, but it comes as a shock to people when the hat is off and they see her without them.
Master refers to it as an ice skating rink or a football field, and she has to laugh when He says this because the skin is so light to the hair colour she guesses it does look a little like ice. He is not being cruel when He says this , it is easier on all the family if it is treated in a non serious way.
One of the things that has saddened her since it has been on going is the fact that He can no longer use her hair as a leash or blend it in any play as there is a risk that He would be left with a clump of hair. Thankfully of the three times it has happened to her it has always grown back.. sometimes more kinky sometimes a slightly different shade but it has reappeared. Only time will tell what colour and strength it will be this time.
One of the nicest things about it is that Master loves all of this one, and not just for what she looks like . He does loads to boost her confidence and her mind set. For this she can not thank Him enough....It is hard work being a Master...and then You get this thrown in on top. Thank You for walking by my side and giving me courage to laugh at this . Love You.
hugs to all
saffy



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 Last night this one got some ouchy pain that has left her feeling a little uncomfortable all day .... not that she is complaining because it was balanced in the way that she likes it and Master enjoys giving it . The day has been a floaty one and she must admit to having trouble focusing a little.... but in a good way.
It is a constant reminder of pleasurable pain... as a pose to bad pain, and really she guesses the margin  for this is very narrow, and is therefore grateful that Master knows and keeps in this border.
The weather here has been bitterly cold at night and first thing in the morning,  the first snowdrop of the year is in bloom though.........so all is good. There was also the most wonderful sunrise this morning ... reflected in the frost and giving the ground and buildings and erie orange glow. (this one loves the cold winter mornings especially when she doesn't need to go out in them.)
have a good week A/all
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Medtation and focus

The past few weeks, ( well since January really) , this one has been taking time out of the busy hustle and bustle of her day to practise a little meditation.... it helps calm her thoughts , and keep her focused on the things that should be important to her. It has been immensely pleasant to allow the brain to wander and heal parts of the body .....and has gone a long way to keeping her thought patterns where they should be. 
If there is an important task to remember, she has started to leave  it, (virtually of course) in the place that she visits when she is in deep meditation, so that when she goes there, it is a  reminder, and has managed to clear out allot of blockages that have been picked up on the years before hand.
hope E/every body's weekend is going well
hugs

saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Who is afraid of Friday 13th

 Who is afraid of Friday 13th? .................. well not this one. Having woken up at a good time , completed the chores that are on the list and the routine ones , she does not see how it is different to any other day, but there again  there is this pain in her sinus that is gradually getting worse and the hound is a little antsy today as there is frost and a cold wind.Ahhh but no , things are going to be OK, it is a positive frame of mind and not superstition to be listened to. 
Yesterday was a good day, Master managed to find a new blender/processor/mixer thing which should cut down on the preparation time for making things considerable, and best of all it was cheaper than the one that had been looked at , with a higher motor speed and a better brand name.  This one has already clocked that it does crushed ice , so it will make a different dimension on ice play lol.........not sure if this is a good thing or not .
hugs to all out there in bloggy land
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

hot chocolate

Whilst making the drinks last night , before heading for bed, and desperately trying to avoid the 10pm curfew, this one came to the conclusion that there were many ways and extras that she is given to serve Master, however making the hot chocolate has to be one of her favourites.
There is something yummy about the hug that it seems to give you as it marks the end of a day , and says time to slow down and relax. she particularly likes the new cabury's chocolate that comes with the tassimo discs now, as it froths really nice and sometimes leaves heart shaped patterns in the drink at the top.
As eating chocolate is a reward in our house (unless it is holidays or a special occasion) to just be allowed a mug of it every night is a treat and a privilege that she is honoured to make for the household.
 hope every ones week is going well
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

peace.......perfect peace

 The plan is to have a happy and peaceful weekend , and so far so good. The house is still asleep at the moment, so this spare five minutes are being utilised to make a blog entry , and then maybe there will be time later to do other things  ...  Although there are a few people about outside, there is not enough noise, to disturb the warm cocoon of quietness that is surrounding the house.
Stress had tried to rule this one the past few days , but luckily Master saw this, and has taken a firm and controlled hand to steer the calmness back. Communication has become the norm and gradually the feelings of trying to carry all the problems of the world on her own are vanishing.
Master's devil cane is laying quite lonely (perhaps fate shouldn't be tempted here) on the top of the drawers, and seven days in the year she still has not managed to score any chalk marks.... However she is also mindful there is still the debt of two from last year plus maintenance to be considered so she will leave those thoughts alone.
Have a wonderful weekend where ever Y/you are
hugs to A/all
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

When it came around to making a New Years resolution at the beginning of the month, like other years, many were made in this house, and this ones, were made in the form of a bucket list for 2012. There are 12 things listed in total on it, (and no, it was not consciously 12 things for the year 2012) each one of them should be achievable , especially now as Master has purchased a wireless printer that makes it possible for the scrap book of the year to be created .Each month being given a page, it should be a lovely reminder of the good things W/we  do, and the things that were happening in the year 2012 , that can be shared with all the family. (maybe there should be kinkster one as well for Masters eyes only lol. )
The weather outside is still very windy.... the bins have collapsed and every time they are stood up the fall again and the trampoline and children's toys from next door are gradually moving , and blowing about their garden. The dog is not amused ....as it kind of spooks her. Still i guess W/we are lucky this is not the norm in the U.K.
hope Y/you are A/all well in blogger land
hugs
saffy

Things are much brighter and
the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Happy New Year

 Just to wish you A/all a Happy New Year and a short post as well.
 The last few days have been a whirl of making plans, and finding there are new guide lines to follow. Life for A/all of the family seems to be happy and on an even keel. The days have somehow gotten in a muddle and it either feels like a day ahead or a day behind.. that's what happens when holidays fall on a weekend for this one. 
Have fun , hugs
saffy 


the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .