Saturday, 28 April 2012
For the last week i have been really down on myself , and yes quite cross as well.
Because it would seem that everyone who has a problem wanted and choose that week to dump it on my doorstep, and whilst normally i can deal with peoples problems for the best of the time... i found myself sinking and becoming a brat because i wasn't dealing with what they were throwing at me... and could no longer separate myself from their issues.
Master had kept quiet throughout all of this , but on the odd occasion i saw Him glance over at me and was frowning, and of course then i wanted His approval so i started to try and add things mentally on my lists that had been given (despite orders from the Dr not to do so much) and then added tiredness to my crosspatch attitude. Not a good combination.
At one time i begged for the cane .. (not the devil one but the one i hate) to try and punish myself , which ended up with Master telling me in no uncertain terms that He and He alone chose when i should be punished not me. :( . ( and i didn't get caned) ....In fact i got nothing but told to focus on the important things which was getting me better and of course i mentally added caring for Him on there as well....but i am not so stupid as to realise that i have be well to do this.
So for now people with problems that have been dumping on my doorstep can talk to Master instead (lol) ( they wont because He is not a soft touch and will not give them money and fall for sob stories............the way i do. ) And i have gone back to writing again... with remembering to communicate...
Have a good weekend all..
the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .