surprise

 So much has happened since this one last posted on here , and she feels that she has neglected her blog a little bit....(however her computer is currently being mended as it was in vital need of some tlc and maintenance, and hopefully it will be back soon.) It's funny how even though she has Master's computer to use as she would her own , she still hankers after hers.
Master has given her two surprises in the past week....(hence the weird title) Both were gifts to help her function, one of them she didn't think she would ever earn back again and she cried when she received it.
One was a silver chain , that represents her collar when she is in nilla mood.......When Master and herself were going through the rough patch and He took a break , she is ashamed to say that she broke her last one and thrust it at Him in frustration of not knowing why and what was happening. Never before has she hurt herself or Him so much by doing this, nor will she ever be so stupid as to do so again. The break was needed for B/both Master and her to share the close bond that she does now with Him. She still has the little heart that was attached to the last one as Master had kept that safe. Now she wears it with love and pride and it helps her to focus when she thinks that she cant.
What did she learn when she didn't have it.....It does not matter really whether she is wearing it or not, as in her mind and heart she is still His  just as she was when it wasn't there. It helps her focus quickly when she has it on, and already she is conscious when she is doing things she is not quite sure of she feels her hand drawn to it ..........she prefers to wear it and He (Master) knows this and has once again allowed her the pleasure of doing so.
The second thing  was a new "toy", . Now  for ages Master has looked for a magic wand by Hitachi for this ones toy bag. For some reason the UK didn't seem to do them., However love honey suddenly made their own design and He decided to treat her to it.
All she can say is WOW . Obviously those who have one of these little (who is she trying to kid little ... more like huge) beauty's will know the pleasure they can instantly lift a girl to. It was during the test run of this, that this girl fell further than she even new was possible into her at oneness with her Master. He took her hand while she was riding the waves of  pleasure and she opened her eyes , looked into His, and saw the love and tenderness in them as He took her deeper and deeper into her sub space. (she finds it very ......she does not have the words to describe to anyone those moments.) The completeness , the love, the security , the passion, the tenderness..... it was all there deep and she will hold it in her mind as long as she lives.
Afterwards as she came down from her space flight.....He held her close and told her how good she was and how He loved her.  Always before there has been a chink in her armour there of the abuse that she had suffered as a child , that somehow what she was doing maybe , just might be dirty and tainted . Some times this was visible to Him sometimes it was not.  Yet like a Dr removing a shard of glass ...He removed that last doubt and she saw the love and tenderness for herself in His eyes.
Thank You Master .
hugs to A/all
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .