At the moment i feel as if my submissive side has been put on a shelf to watch the world go by, and i miss the kiss of  a cane and the feeling of my leather cuffs. i know i am probably learning patience (or something like that) but it is a hard lesson to learn , and my body has started to ache for the want of a good session from His hand. i thought about being bratty, but in truth this would probably just annoy Him , and so i must keep going and try not to let bratt girl out, hoping the drought of  sessions, and control will end soon.
hugs to all
saffy






the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

frustration

 Life is like a game of frustration at the moment... Yesterday we had our day all nice planned, Dr's for me for a check up before spending the afternoon/evening having some fun time and relaxation together. ( OK so is aid we planned but it never turned out that way)
First of all the nurse who was to do my checks was running nearly 45 mins behind... and so after waiting all this time, she finally saw me , and did none of them. She asked that i re booked and saw my GP another day GRRRRRRRRRR.
And so Master, not phased by this ( i was, because i had not eaten so the glucose test would have been right and by this time was kind of cranky) , took me off to have a brunch at a cafe... I got spoilt with extra treats like fresh olives and ginger brought for me ...
On arriving home i was sent for a nap, and He was fixing some problems that had occurred on one of the PCs and low and behold the middle son appeared home. Bang went any chance of play because although He is an adult there was no way that he was going to go out so we could have the house to ourselves again , as his friend had let him down and he was in a bad mood. ( grrrrrrr to his friend)
Well i did get treated to dinner by my Master, and i have to remember that i was not the only one that was feeling down about all the glitches...
 This morning i was sent flowers by Himself , and hopefully tonight ( when the son goes out to his group, play can happen) Until then i am having my own game of frustration . Sometimes it's a game i just can not win.
Have a good day all
saffy


the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

rolls......

The sun has come back out again today with avengence after yesterdays rain storm. and i feel better as Master had a few more swats of maintenance to do on my backside.

This morning made me  smile, because i had a few extra things that i was able to do for Master, ( i always work better and seem happier when i have a routine to follow and a set of extra tasks.) He had wanted extra rolls for  lunch time , so i got to it baking enjoying the pounding of the dough as i molded it into shape and fashioned his rolls. Everything seem to be in place, and every time i walked i got a few more twinges from the top of my thighs where the latest swats had been keeping me kind of focused on Him and sending my love for Him into the bread. ( He must of liked them because now they are just about all gone )
A trip out ( to see a family member )  made both of us feel a little *sadden* as he ( the family member), proceeded to complain about everything and anything and didn't seem to notice the beautiful day that we were having.
And so my beautiful Man has gone to rest , and while He does so i think that i will go and make some more bread, and other goodies . Have a fabulous rest of Monday all
hugs
saffy
x
the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

sunrise

 After waking at some ungodly hour i finally decided to get out of bed at five thirty, i will be cranky later and maybe go for a nap , but sleep was just not coming and i was fed up with watching the minutes tick by on the clock's projection on the ceiling.
Yesterday was rainy and stormy, but the positive was that it left the grass (that was a scorched brown colour)  starting to turn green again. Its like it was just waiting for the rain to grow and flourish. Sometimes i guess that i feel a little like this, burnt and spent wondering why i can not grow and then something will nourish me and i grow strong and tall again.
A discussion the other evening  actually helped accent how people can be at an event and yet still see different things, and made me sad. i don't want to give up my dreams or stop believing the good in people, i just want to see the positives in all things.
i will succeed in focus and making people proud, and i am safe, i am who i am and nobody can take that away from me unless i allow them to.

hugs.
have a good Sunday all, the one constant is that the sun always comes up in the morning as far as i can tell.
saffy



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

focus.........

 Still having a lot of trouble in focusing on things that should be a priority, or at least become part of my routine . Maybe it is the extra meds that i have had to take the last month, maybe it is just that the body senses change going on around me or maybe it is just the way i am, but it does not feel good.
Yesterday brought me three sharp raps on the bottom with a metal fish slice, not the flat side but the side, and it hurt because they were hard... i can still feel them today, and yes i deserved them because i had said to Himself that the DC hadn't hurt me in a moment of madness.. ( it does but i like it) . News flash, i also liked the fish slice.
Back to focus, this was meant to be my priority for the month, and here we are over half way through and feeling low because i know in my heart of hearts that i have let myself down by not following my routine and lists.
Maybe the last week and the next month will get better. ( but i promise i will try and blog at least once a day and try and take/ make more pictures.. )
Hugs to all
have a good weekend all
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

shhhhhhhh

 Well it was Tuesday yesterday , and it was maintenance day. i thought that Master would have forgotten... He does not have the best memory at these things, but no... at ten O'clock it was count and thank time. Although i told myself that i didn't need such things as a dragon cane tonight , i can not believe how much better i felt afterwards, or indeed or how much better if felt today.
Master took me to a seaside town today and parked the car miles from where we wanted to go to, i must admit i didn't want to walk that far, and yet it was enjoyable and i had fun... ( i did kind of tell Him He could have parked closer, but His answer was that we both could do with the walk and a look that told me not to push it) ~that and the strokes that i had last night were raped all be it gentle made me realise He was serious.
i think i am enjoying the maintenance Tuesday and Thursday but shhhh don't tell cos i am not sure that i am meant to.
Have a good rest of the day all
saffy



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

scratchy me

Today seems to have stretched on and on for ever . As well as the normal things that need to be done, we have been to a small town by the sea , ( that was over run by small , medium and large children) Crowded was not the word for it, and this mixed with the heat made brat girl want to come out.
Master managed to get  a quick hair cut, but we postponed any sea front walking because of the people. i got a bit sad on the inside because of this, and it is not often Master does not offer to take me to the beach when we are this near, but i guess that the unruly behaviour of some put even Him off.
 i looked at one couple and see so much can not be bothered in the attitude towards others , as the lady fiddled with her cell phone and ignored the three children , and the man asked the shop assistant a question after stuffing his mouth full of food ( spraying the poor girl with quaver crisps) It wouldn't have been so bad but she said pardon, and he dutifully repeated the question after re stuffing his mouth again.
i can just imagine Master's reaction if i behaved this way , and i don't think my bum would thank me for it, i am also pretty sure that i never ignored my children when they were this age ( cos according to them i don't now and they are the grand ages of 27 , 26, 24 ,23, and 22.) i just wondered when we turned into a civilisation that is more interested of technical matters than ordinary ones.  Having one leader and the rest followers works in our house, maybe others should try it.
At the same time they might pick up some common sense and manners.
but i guess i ask to much.......and yes i am in a scratchy mood.
hugs.. hope all are having a better day than me
saffy


the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

sleepy me

 So tired this morning , even though i must have got a full nine hours sleep. It is so hot here at the moment, and the cool air from the fans don't seem to do much to stop my body from melting .Emotionally i feel slightly drained as well, because it was my birthday yesterday and i spent the day feeling on edge. Master always gets slightly stressed at our young adults, that they never seem to remember such dates and don't seem to be able to get the cards and gifts to me on time... and it makes me worry all day that today will bring a tirade of criticisms from Him . i have tried to say to Him that i am happy with just a birthday wish but He thinks i deserve more, and then lectures about it.
The name custard seems to have stuck and orders that are particularly important to Him are emphasised by using it. It makes me realise just how often at times i probably didn't hear what He was saying.
Maybe  i shouldn't be blogging today as i am struggling to deal with a wave of bleakness that has fallen over me. i guess that i am just tired.
hugs to all
have a good Tuesday
saffy x

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

A quick Pitstop

 i now know why He chose our new bed .... It has to be because He can bend me over it three of the four sides and start to paddle my bum and i cant get away from Him any more at the end of it. ( not that i did that much before but i guess there was always an option) Thursdays nights maintenance was .....not a s bad as i had have thought... at least i feel myself a little again after it and do not feel so detached from the rest of the lifestyle
Master went shopping for gifts for my birthday this morning , and i got sent to bed ( i guess He sussed last year i nosed out of the window trying to see what he had got as surprises... He said it was hot and clammy at the town , and has gone to lay down. i on the other hand am now wide awake  and  full of curiosity
i  have been keeping to my list of quiet things to do but all the noisy things taunt me, i guess i should go and brew Him some fresh coffee , and see if He is OK as His sugar levels have been far to high of late.
Have fun bloggers ...
saffy x




the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

After the storm

It seems so long since the last blog post and so many things seem to have happened...
1) i got a new "pet name" of custard~ Master has decided to call me custard (don't laugh)  In some situations  He thinks that  i go into my" i can take on and rule the world mode," when out and/or among people that are vanilla and do not understand our relationship dynamics .  He picked this as He loves custard.... i don't , but then it should remind me to behave . He has also used it on the bratty phase when i am overstepping the boundaries and don't  realise it.

2) Maintenance has been stepped up ~ ( the jury is out on this one for me as to whether this is a good thing or not ) Now Thursday and Tuesday are  cane nights , no ifs and the only butt apparently is mine......  i guess i was lucky to get away with no maintenance for such a long period of time , and on reflection it is good for me because i know that i won't be able to pretend to myself that He is not keeping an eye one me.
He is also keeping a closer eye on my chores , ( not that they needed this as i love doing them) my bed time, and my reading time when i have gone to bed.
All of these things were put in place after i had a rash moment the other day and caused a blazing upset by waking Him up by crashing things about in a shed under our bedroom window.. ( i wake early in the summer , i always have done and blackout curtains don't seem to help me ) My extra job for the day was to clean out the shed , and get rid of the rubbish............ my idea was to get it done before anyone else was up, so i could have time to spend doing other things later in the day.. Well i won't be making that mistake again in a hurry, apparently metal on concrete is loud and so is me sweeping the cobwebs away when the rest of the world slumbers on. i didn't mean to wake Him, but it happened , and it was made worse because the  previous morning he had been woken early also and so was still tired.
His tolerance of my , but you told me to do it was practically zero and so were my negotiation skills , i was upset as i thought i was only doing as i was told.. i was also hot and worn out by that time. Things calmed down after an half hour of a lecture ( and yes He was justified in it looking back on the event , and i am now ashamed of myself) and later in the evening a list of "quiet" chores and  the new things put i place. ( i guess i should explain Master has had sleep apnea since he was a child and His sleep is precious to Him )
i am grateful now to Him doing this for me , and i really hope that i don't upset Him to much with points etc,  i can see me either learning to love His dragon canes   or pulling up my big girl panties and weathering the residue after the storm. ( and He says that there are more changes to come when i get used to these ones)

Have a good rest of the week all
saffy







the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .