Friday, 29 July 2011
back to basics
The last few days have been a time for renewing my affirmations and my submission to my One. Before W/we got the chance to have the precious four days away from everything else, and distractions that life chucks at all of U/us , i have to admit to having a low that was starting to build a wall to shut away all my emotions, and i was getting lost. W/we had loads going on in O/our lives , and i guess that i had forgotten how to be me.
The girl who liked her boundaries and routines was not evident , and every time life was throwing problems at me , i was internalizing them , rather than going to Master for guidance/direction. (Don't get me wrong , i love that Man with all that i am, it's just that life was swamping me with what it was dealing me out, and for some reason i started to build walls.....)
Well those walls are well and truly knocked down... W/we achieved this together, by building huge waves of trust, by being stripped back to basic commands again, by learning once again how to communicate, that my opinions do matter, but there is a right and wrong way to express them, by being allowed to wear my collar at all times in the house while the boys are away, by learning that bratty behaviour now gets a swat at the time and then *if* it ever reaches ten in a month, guidance will be given in a harsh way.
i do not feel down about this , twenty five was to lenient and a number i was never going to reach so inside i used it as an excuse for being bratty and bad. i like and need boundaries to feel safe and i thank my Master that He is able to care for me .
i love You Master, with all i am all i ever was and all i ever shall be
the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .