The silence for the last week has been brought on by working through a whole load of things that have built up in my silly noodle head that should have been discussed with MK a long time ago.
i started a new work book... not  just  an online one and renewed the play list that i did for Him six plus years ago.. This was brought on , because , of my fatal love hate relationship with canes. i really want to love them , because i know that He loves them, and because if i could let go i would quite enjoy the dragon cane and the thicker ones, but i freeze when i see them coming because of the past issues.
So... i copied this BDSM list out of all the things that i have  done before , and have saved the check list for Him and i to go through together. This might help because it is a chance for us both to communicate , Him what He enjoys giving and myself what i enjoy to receive...though ultimately i know the decisions are always His it feels good to be making sure that things are going well.
Asthma has been another downfall of late , giving me a hard time and making me feel drained the whole time, and Master also discovered , by taking me to the dr's somehow i have managed to catch an ear infection , so there goes my dairy intake out of the window again, until the antibiotics clear it up.
All in all though things are pretty good, and i did have a lovely surprise on tuesday of Master taking me out to the restaurant to eat... He allowed me to order...( because i thought that i could remember the dish we had the last time that we went there,) and i ordered  the wrong thing..... the menus had been changed and we ended up with a very fruity curry , with mango and creme fresh in it.. lovely in itself i guess but not if you are expecting a spicy hot dish. i felt awful, and although we both ate it and it was not unpleasant , it left a slight damper on the evening because it wasn't really what either of us were expecting. ( i wont be allowed to order again any time in the near future , i have been told, but i will keep an eye on the list of ingredients that are there , so we dont end up with mango based dish next time.
Today i was brought flowers and some ice lollies when He was out , to cool me down and cheer me up with the heat.... Sometimes He is very romantic and loving and i feel the luckiest girl alive.
Have a good rest of the week all
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 Not much happening here... apart from a spell of really hot weather, which is making me cranky and tired the whole time, and oh yes,  i got my nails done the other day,  Because of the not being able to use my hand and now having to wear protection for it when doing chores etc, i now have beautifully grown nails that i can varnish, ( only with clear stuff though) and am proud to look at .
They have been shaped and have strengthener on them and i am really proud that i managed this.
On a more negative note though i managed to upset Master in the middle of a town we were at because i didn't listen to Him properly. In my defence i was tired hot and it was noisy, but there is no excuse. He was also hot and tired , so it probably wasn't a good combination. i was told over  a cool drink that there would be No minute after ten tonight , no excuses i would be on time with my bed routine... and i had ten hours to brush the dog... this has now dwindled to five.. i better go do this..
have fun all

saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

collection

 This morning has been good... i have left Master a surprise in the fact that i budgeted my time so well this morning , i have managed to find time to finish His pair of shorts. ( an Unfinished Project) and left them out this morning for Him to wear. 
Yesterday when a blip of cheekiness slipped from my lips, Master gave me the choice of a point, ( i could have banked it as i have none this month, BUT the punishment for five is not nice) or a spank. i chose a spank, because yes i might not get the five points , but knowing that p.m.s is to come i probably might do, especially as himself is a little more stricter for now.
Well i collected my one spank that turned into two with a wooden spoon.... it smarts but at least it is not hanging over my head any more
Have a good weekend all
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

An update

 OK now i feel a plonker. i talked to Master and He was pleased that i did... First and foremost i have to be myself, and not compare myself to those He has had before , or how i think He wants me .. Secondly He says that He did not mean the comment the way i had took it, and i somehow wonder if i am going to regret saying to Him  that i think at times He is soft on me because He loves me...
Next came another message indirectly from Morning Star... (sorry i have not yet mastered the art of linking blogs )In which she talked about doing 24/7 hers and her Sir's way not any other way, and i suddenly realise this is what i have been doing .. comparing myself to others.
i am a plum... .
Hugs.
i am off to have a nap and get fresh for tonight

 saffy
the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

friday blues

i woke far to early today, as i forgot to shut the window in our bedroom and a flock of seagulls nosily interrupted my sleep. Fortunately Master seem to have slept through this,( though i am sure that He will tell me later if He wasn't asleep) and i have been able to have time on the pc and blog for a few uninterrupted minutes. Trouble is , as normal doubts about my ability to be good enough for Him creep in as the house sleeps on.
Sometimes i doubt my ability to be all that He needs and wants from His girl, and yet He is still here and loves me , with this love i notice though, that He sometimes allows me to get away with things that i wouldn't have done before.  When this happens i sit and wonder why, and it either swings one way or the other...
Maybe i will try extra hard , or maybe brat girl comes in and pushes boundaries even harder. Lately knowing that He is not well i have tried extra hard, but was somewhat slapped hard (mentally) by Him telling me i never did as  i was told during the shoe incident, and i wasn't 24/7. ( i should have done as i was told straight off... but there was not retribution other than a caustic tongue)
i must confess this has remained with me most of the night , ( and yes i guess i should be talking to Him about it {but i have not got to that stage yet} )
So today i have done my chores... before nine... and am now heading into our garden to take out my confusion on an overgrown honeysuckle and flower bed that i have noticed is being choked.
Have fun all in blogger land, i guess i am just in a low at waking to early and over analysing things.
hugs
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

But i am unique

 i guess saying" i am unique" and doing things differently all ones life does not cut ice when being told to do something, nor does "but i always leave them there ".........The objects in question were my shoes, Master wanted them upstairs, but does not like me going outside without them on, nor wearing slippers outside, and so i like to keep them downstairs hidden from sight under the coffee table. ( i have done this for nearly six years .... and i had no problem about it ) HOWEVER it would seem He had.
It made no iota of difference that shoes had always been kept by the door when i was young , nor that it was a long way to go crashing upstairs to get them every time the dog went out... The new home for shoes was upstairs. "i don't think so" also was a wrong answer.
In some ways i guess that He is right, because there has been in excess of four pairs of shoes dotted about the living room, and one has to pick them up every time it is hoovered etc, to say nothing of the times i hadn't noticed my sons.and nearly fell over them.. and yet i felt defiant, because i didn't want to travel upstairs every time that i went outside. ( i guess a sensible answer was to wear them but in this weather it is far to hot and i dislike things against my skin)
Short end to the story , our shoes now live upstairs, not anywhere downstairs..and i should not be such a brat as to have argued in the first place... i have a feeling that i may regret this when my earache is better. 
ps i only had one pair of shoes downstairs.. the rest were other peoples...
hugs have a good thursday
saffy




the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 The  time in our house seems to fly past of late. Today has been no different, Master and i went bed hunting , after Master decided that the bed that  had been ordered would be no good for us and  decided to  cancel it , and then go and lay on what seems like hundreds of  other ones. i must admit the one that He has finally ordered  ( to arrive in two weeks time) is far superior to the original , including places to store lots of toys . It is also very comfortable and i could have quite easily fell asleep in the store.
Last night saw the return of the ugly stick ( a thick wood drum stick) and a jam preserve spoon... very nice and springy and with a surprising bite to each of them , specially when not expecting it.  He also had out the magic wand which my body loves and brought me some well needed rest and relaxation. Strange thing is now, all the stress magically disappeared.
On a funny note our fur baby had a yellow face yesterday ( it's normally a white and grayish one)  , and i had to think hard as to why. Finally it clicked that she had been thrusting her nose into other peoples hedges whilst she on her walk and one had a wild clump of tiger lily's growing in it.... It must have been from these... and yet it looked as it she had been covered in yellow poster paint. Thank goodness that she does not have hay fever but i think that we will walk another route until these have gone in case she happens to find a bee .......
It also reminded me of the time when Master and i were decorating our lounge... ( well um maybe that should read Master was decorating and i was cleaning up and making coffee..... ) and He threatened to paint my skin with left over emulsion... and then make patterns on it with some toys. not something that i would have been impressed with at the time , but it left with with a wonder if it would get tight as it dried, how it would feel etc..
Anyhow so far i have managed to escape this and He seems to have forgotten about it.
Have a good Wednesday all
hugs
saffy



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

garden days.

 The last few days have been spent outside virtually trying to get our garden back into shape , planting the many flowers, both home grown and brought from the garden centre and weeding out the weeds, brambles and such like. ( considering that it was raining so much before the sun we are now having we sure have got an awful lot of weeds growing.)
i have started to appreciate  being able to make a space or area pretty and nice to spend time in ( that is when out husky doesn't  pinch the flowers off the begonias..... ( she seems to like red ones ) and eat the lettuce plants. ) Its kind of nice  being able to show something for my work in the mornings. i guess it is quite therapeutic also .... and keeps my mind from straying to other things.
On a down note Master is once again suffering from a bad back.. it must be bad because He is taking pain relief, something that i have rarely seen Him do , but help ( i hope) is at hand as we are getting a new bed with a special mattress  next week and i am hoping that this may help.
The hand although dressing free still has flare ups of swelling and does not like the sun at all.. It is fascinating to look at as you can clearly see the different layers of skin , It also gets quite painful by the end of the day  but i am thankful that the redness is not as large anymore.
The kettle arrived this morning with a built in water filter , ( Master was hoping this will help that it does not get so furred up with limescale , which is so rife in this area) i quite like it as it is scarlet, and because of the filter in it i have to pour in one cup at a time. The down side is that it is going to cost a little extra as we now have to change its filter once a week...
This months learning curve for me is trying to evaluate my time, fortunately i have not picked up any extra points at the moment ... but it is early days , Master also says that i have been getting a little smart with comments so i am secretly trying to work on this as well.
Hope everyone has a good weekend.
saffy




the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Monday................

 i was feeling really positive this morning, the hand is so much better, it has lost most of the bandages and now only has tubigrip on and plenty of Vaseline. And so i started on the catch up game , trying to make our house a home again with all the little things that have not been done and i can do now. Every time that brat girl came into my head ( usually when i was doing some type of cleaning that i dislike) i thought back how pants it felt when i couldn't do any of it. And so i have managed to achieve quite allot and downstairs is just about back to normal.
Master had his birthday the other day and it was quiet affair, but we had a barbecue in the garden , and then He and our middle son went to play pool. ( i watched , because one, i can not play to save my life and two i had a genuine excuse this time with my hand all sore still. )
It was fun though and i managed to make Him laugh while watching him, he says i have a transparent face, i hope not , because otherwise the whole of the pub would have known i was making rude plans to play on the pool table , just not with their kind of balls and cue sticks..
I really feel peaceful at the moment and keep waiting for something to go wrong and my bubble to burst.
hope that everyone else is happy and enjoying a fresh new month
saffy




the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .