i know that i should probably be blogging , but, i really don't know what to blog about at the moment. Life is passing by at a kind of haze, and i still look forward to winning / earning the silly yellow folder. i know that Master has written some guide lines out there to help me , i can see them if i glance over to the window sill... several times i have thought about looking at them, but they are not really mine to read yet, so i have resisted.
i don't know why he is waiting to give them to me.. every time i have asked i have the sneaky feeling that the time i am going to have them has been put back , and eventually i guess part of my inner body will reject them and not want them. Yet i know i do at the moment.. It is like a child or dog wanting to have something and being told no.
i think what makes it harder for me to accept is that i don't know the reason why he is with holding them, and i am having to fight the a battle with myself to resist asking again. ( the time that i have asked i felt the answer was glossed over.)
i guess the only thing that i can do is wait and see what happens ............
take care all and have a good Thursday
saffy


the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Today has been good , we (as in Master and i got out and about and managed to find a bargain at the local charity shop of a mini printer ) We have two already, which are great , but they are so fiddly to work and if you just want a picture quick they are not  always economical ( in time wise at least) to set up and print. So Master had been looking into getting a new one , but the emphasis at the moment seems to be on the bigger the better. This little one will suit His needs well.
While we were out Master decided that we should  have lunch, ( and i had forgotten my meds) So when He came to ask why i was not taking it i had to fess up that i had removed it from my bag and had not put any new ones in. (Sighs... i need to get used to taking the silly tablets , but i was the one to suffer as the pain killers had worn off and i didn't have any new ones. ) He did threaten to give me 100 lines as to the tune of i should not be a plonker and forget my meds ..... but thankfully He didn't..i know that i wont be so lucky next time and so i better put a spare set of tabs in each of my bags so i don't get it wrong again.
Life here today has been good as the sun is out, but then so is the pollen and with it bringing a new set of problems .. ahhh well it has to be better than the dust pollution we had last week , at least the dog and i can go walking early in the morning before the count rises to high.
Have a good rest of the day all... i am a little on edge as i think may maintenance may be spreading its way to me tonight as Master seems to be so much better today... ( part of me wants it, the other part dreads it as my body had gone so long with out it , i think i am back in control. muhahahahaha)
hugs
saffy



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

a maybe silly question.

 A question for all you slaves, submissive s or those of you in DD relationships... Who or where do you go to when you need an ear about your relationship, whether it is just to talk, or to ask what seems a weird question, ( such as whether that certain feeling was the norm , or which toy is best , or ..........) and i could go on and fill this post up with 101 questions with only the answers that i should know considering how long i have been in this lifestyle.
i guess what i am trying to say is that i miss having a sister/friend that i can talk about the lifestyle with ( my sister who i used to chat about new things , and old for that matter passed away.....) We do not live in a community where there are munches and i don't find that it is something that you can bring into everyday conversation.
As much as i love my Master , there are sometimes that i miss another person who is potentially a bottom , to talk to about our lifestyle. Sometimes it feels like a big secret that should always remain hidden from the world... and i get sad about this , as i always felt it was quite natural.
Anyhow i hope all you readers are well.... me i have been ill again.. The dust storms are bad for my asthma and i have spent a week and half housebound as the air quality was rubbish.
Have a good Sunday all
saffy





the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 Saturday, has brought the sunshine back and a feeling of calm with me. Master still has His beard ( which i am loving) but i know the days of Him keeping are numbered as He is talking about going to have a shave and hot towel at a local barbers. i felt guilty today as  the sun is out and despite this i am not out in the garden preparing to be another room to our house. In my defence i feel tired today, and stiff from the exercise and yoga that i have been doing extra to my normal routine.
i guess that my Nan would have said get straight back on the routine and keep up the work of what caused the muscles to feel this way in the first place , but i don't want to over work the good work that Master and i have put in with my joints and have to have more months of physio for them.
The dog has been funny today, placing all her toys in one corner of the room and then on the seat as if she was reserving it for herself. In truth she probably gets fed up with laying on a bed full of stuffed toys and spring has come so maybe she has the nesting instinct.
As for my nesting instinct, the spring clean routine has been going well, Master even noticed that the bathroom has been extra sparkly of late ( but still the decorating is not finished ) and the back cupboards ( that are not used that much) are gradually getting cleared out. i guess the trick is not to try and do it all at once or leave it until you have to do it all at once .... but sometimes when i have finished cleaning and someone comes behind and leaves a mess behind i feel myself biting my tongue in frustration as not to say anything. ( yes on the odd occasion a sharp word does slip out but i am proud to report that it is on the odd occasion now days. )
Now i am off to put the clean sheets on our bed so it does not have to be done at the last minute again.
Have a happy weekend all
saffy



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 For ages it would seem ( i am learning to be patient) i have been on a self improvement kick. i thought very carefully to start off with what one thing i would like to be better in myself. ( i wanted to kid myself and try and tell me, that i am perfect ~ but in my heart of hearts i know there are bits of me that i get frustrated and niggled over.
One of my big things is because of my dyspraxia, and slight autistic tendency at times, i think i seem to want things to happen straight away just because a person , or people, have said it will happen. Master is good about this and has got used to wording things so i do not get into a tizz about things but still i get frustrated when it happens ( as it always seems to in life)
For a long time i compared myself to others that i would read about or see on line , and i began to feel that my worth was not much, (forgetting the most important thing that i was perfect for Himself as He had not only chosen me to be His , He had married me as well. ) Different months would go by, and i should think that i drove Him up the wall wanting to try this and that to improve.
Forgetting still yet again what was perfect for some would not fit into the life style that  He and i had carved for ourselves. And getting angry with myself as well as i felt in many ways that i was letting Him down.
So what changed........ nothing really i can still read the pages , i think it used to be  a little like wanting the same three piece as your neighbour if this makes sense, but for a strange reason unknown to myself i no longer seem to want to have others rules, others life's, realising at last what we have is unique and special. With His blessing now i will ask if i can do things to improve myself. The only stipulation He seems to give is that i am respectful and that it makes me happy and does not harm any one ...
Have a good and happy day
saffy





the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Hummmphh
i might have been a little bit dotty the  other morning in deciding that i could walk the dog with no socks on and shoes that were not really broken in ( but felt OK honest as long as they had socks on) , but my excuse was that i didn't want to wake Master at the ungodly hour that i was preparing to take the dog out , rummaging for socks, that had somehow disappeared, or getting my walking boots out. Anyhow, for what ever reason, off me and the hound set to take the new route that Master and i had discussed the previous day, ( i get bored walking the same paths and i am sure that Kiki does also.)
Half way round i began to feel a problem on my ankles, in the same place, at both sides, the stiff shoe leather was rubbing the skin off my poor leg. i considered removing the shoes, but the ground is not that nice to walk on besides it was frosty and i didn't want even more problems with the circulation cutting out as well as my bright red gashes that were appearing on my ankles by now.
By the time i got home ( or should that read hobbled) i was in real pain, and i quickly removed said shoes and walked about bare footed ( another no no since i broke my toe the other year doing just that) unable to bare the feeling of even my softest slippers on the wound.
i didn't say anything at first to Master, but He had noticed that i was in pain, at first He thought that it was my joints, and then i guess that He saw the problem. i was stressed and i told Him why, and for my trouble i can not believe that He gave me lines :(  . Lines that said one hundred times, i must not be a plonker, to be written while He was in the bath, and i nearly got it increased to two hundred by muttering.
One hundred lines.... i can do that  easy, ummmm, well maybe, no computer, no keyboard, and i hate writing , It took me nearly an hour to carefully write it out , i had to be careful and not use my usual spider scrawl as so He could read it. Then after He had read it , He made me tear it up and place it in the bin. What a waste of my time.............. but the penny dropped then, i hate not having time to do my things and by making me waste an hour of free time that i had, it had shown me if i had have just fetched the right clothes in the first place , i wouldn't have had this problem. He hadn't given me cane
strokes to count , as i am having the training for this every night and He didn't want me to be distracted from this. And some how the punishment that He had chosen had been far more effective.
hugs to all
have a good weekend everyone
saffy



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

wriggle wriggle

 i can not lay still to save  my life, my feet start to twitch , my body heaves and i have to toss and turn, and in a session i am ten times worse. Master has cottoned on to this, and it irritates Him, so much so, He has now threatened paper chains to bind my hands and if i break them , then i get a forfeit. (I guess that i will be getting plenty of these then. )No i did promise i was going to try but if anybody has any tips they would be gratefully received. i used to be able to place my mindset somewhere else bu Himself has got wise and alters the timing of the implements now so this does not work. ( and yet He knows i can lay still when needed as i do when i am half asleep. )
Yesterday brought some insane words from my mouth when i actually muttered i needed six of His DC after a session that had blown my mind ( perhaps that was why temporary insanity took over, but strangely enough He did not take my "it was a joke" as an excuse and dealt them to me. ( shhh don't tell Him but i actually love the feeling those strokes have left behind this morning )
Hope everyone else is having a good Wednesday...
hugs saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .