i have been avoiding posting on my blog for nearly a week now, because i had another accident at home and didn't want to write whilst i felt so down about it.
Last week i missed the cup while i was pouring out boiling water for the tea , and managed to water my hand with it instead. i was left with anger, (at myself) ~even though it was caused by my tic, and couldn't have been helped, and pain, and have had to live for  a week with dressings and bandages on it. It looks like it will be like that for a while as it is a bad burn....... BUT it could have been worse.
So because of the pain , i have not been able to type that well... i still cant... and i have started to be thankful the not being able to use it is only a temporary thing...i hate not being able to bathe properly ( Master has had to help) Wash my hair......( Master has done it) , cook, clean and practically everything. ( thankfully, i have been helped with the major things and the little things just have to wait. )
So why avoid, well... because i know deep inside i was told not to fill the kettle up several times by a certain person , ( but He hasn't said i told you so) because i feel incredibly guilty, and by writing it down it is acknowledging that i have got it wrong...(again) , believe me i feel bad about it and it is libel to leave a permanent scar to remind me.
i also managed to "earn" 4 out of my five points for the month in one morning by being sassy to Him, i guess that i will just have to lay low and keep a buttoned lip till the month is over, because i don't think that i could bare to let Him down now after He has been so good to me.
hope everyone else is having a better time
hugs
saffy


the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 Today the sun is out.... the wind has blown all the wet weather that we were having away, and i feel GOOD. Mind you i dont know if this has anything to do with the weather, or the fact that Master tried His new makeshift paddle out on my backside yesterday. 
Some time ago, whilst visiting our daughter, we had been shopping at an Adnam's shop ( one of Master's favourite ales) and discovered that it had a lovely cooking utensil shop at the back of it. i had to try looking at masses of wooden chopping boards all different sizes, lengths and woods and not have drooling thoughts. i loves the ones made out of oak and of olive.... ( although the ash ones had a beautiful grain running in them. ) Master picked on out and  i have to admit it felt lovely in my hands, but i wondered how something that was so long and thick was going to feel on my backside. i cheekily said that He couldnt have it until His birthday and hid it. ( promptly forgetting where i had stashed it away)
This all occured a few weeks ago ..... i had almost forgotten about it... i say almost .... Lets just say last night i  was reminded of it again ,( as it was found by Himself) just in a tester situation, It feels as good as it looks and is a king among paddles. ( although i am sure it is a posh cheese board or chopping board.) Not only does it leave a nice throbby sting as it meets with the butt cheeks ... it also continues to throb with none of the gaps  of coolness that you get with our littler paddles or a wooden spoon. All this from only three spanks.
(  i had thought that the wooden spoon with holes in it  was one of my favourite implements, but now i am not so sure.....) i am truely hoping that it the paddle ( or Master's sandwich board as He calls it ) will be used more than the three spanks that i got with it last night, and that other smaller things with be added to  emphasise it.
Have a fun Friday all.
saffy 



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Peaceful happiness

 Today has been good, Good that i don't think that i was bratty, that i have not over done the work, and that i managed to get the library books changed. ( that's always important to me , because although i have two kindles i love the feel of a real book to read just before i go to sleep. .... and we have a thing that Master does not like the kindles to be read in bed in case they are dropped. )
I feel a kind of calm has descended on me , a kind of peace. i am guessing that it might have something to do with the word association game, Master got me to shout out a football team while i was climaxing last play time after each wave of pleasure or during it.... and now when He sees i am getting lost He has been saying the word and i am transported back to that pleasure that He gave me.
He has given me so much guidance today when i look back on it without me even realising it, and i just want to do more and more to please Him.. ( i  do hope bratgirl doesn't come back)
i just feel so peaceful and calm
Happy Wednesday to all . 
hugs
Saffy


the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

bratgirl the workohlic

 Sometimes , i don't know why i don't let the submissive side of me have her own way, especially when i know it was just going to be one of those moments that happen, that prove that i should have just followed instructions, but i still had to try and be independent and "manage" things on my own.
From that i guess that you might gather that rebel brat has been about ( and she has) , It started with Master being away for business last week.... i couldn't settle i hate it when He is away, as i feel i have to do everything on my to do list for a week in a day ( to give you an idea how bad i am , my son calls me a workaholic ) Well a weeks worth of jobs got done in one afternoon, and then more.... and still i couldn't rest....So a few more hundred got done and i ended up slicing my thumb cutting a tomato. ..
That slowed me down, speaking to Master on His phone i was promptly banned from doing things ... ( but then i can't keep busy) and quite frankly have only just been able to take the dressing off the thumb, but i still feel YUCK.
i have a self destruct button i think inside me that makes me want to over achieve , to prove i can cope.... (i can cope when i don't try  and do so much) BUT, because of the disabilities and someones opinion of the past,  i always think i have to put in that extra mile... to prove i am good enough i guess
Master has found a way round that, when He is about , but when He is not everything goes out of the window , and workaholic brat girl is there. Try as i might i can not implicate the rest system that He has put in. and everything falls flat.
i get a problem then when Master comes back from His trip that i still want to over work and achieve and so then i start to beat myself up over it. This was all brought home to me yesterday , when He said, just  think about being nice to yourself... ( but i am last on the list) Time to change this .....and look to taking me time with Him self's permission. To look after Him i need to have an outlet for writing my thoughts...... feelings ... highs and lows ( that would be my poor neglected blog i guess) take time to make sure that i am well turned out and have done my nails etc... and to eat properly, not just on the run as so to speak. ( the food part doesn't happen when He is here only when He is away)
So today i am turning brat girl away..... she does not deserve to be in my life , and she gets me in trouble. i am focusing on relaxation ( football springs to mind( but probably not in the way that most would think~however that's another story) and focusing on all of me, as well as the family and Master, but making sure that i do not slip up and make myself YUCK again.
hugs...
have a good day
saffy





the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

Bratgirl returns

 Sighs,
Yesterday was better left forgotten, "but" if i forget about it then i can not learn from it. i had started off with a yucky peak flow reading, ( rape is out and the pollen has been  playing havoc with me) And so because i felt ill , i have very little tolerance with things that may or may not bother me.
Master's advice, wrap up warm( i am hot already) and take my inhalers, perhaps having a shower to wash away the pollen.
The day progressed... i dint think i was being that bad, and i tried to avoid people, right up until i had served dinner, and then for some reason brat girl (me)thought she could answer back to a question, in a sassy manor. ( no i am not proud of it now, but i was not in a good mood at the time. ~ and so significant it was i can not even remember what i had said...
i can remember , i refused to get the room ready for a play , while Master bathed.. sighs.. i should have learnt that an order is an instant obey ~ instead i pouted and wanted a cuddle. i didn't feel well, but i had not told Master the extent that i didn't feel well, and i expected Him to be mind reading. It just didn't happen. Instead, i got a massive lecture about being unsubmissive like....  at which point i crumbled.
Playtime was cancelled, Master did not feel good about what had happened and i felt rubbish, a because of my asthma and the fact i had not told Him i was ill. He was angry about this, not in a nasty way but in a lecture way. ( and He had every right to be)
i felt bad for the rest of the night until three am  i finally woke up having a really bad attack.. He of course was brilliant and got my inhalers and spacer.. but it left me shattered. , i should be looking after Him and i hate the fact that if i feel ill i know the first thing that goes out of the window is my obedience.
Today has been full of rest ( for me) and trying to be the best girl i can for Him. He is even cooking dinner tonight.. i feel spoilt but at the same time as though part of me has been taken away.
Hugs to all out there
saffy

 ps the chalk board is now up to 4..... just as well it is nearly the end of the month.

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

they are back

 For nearly a year Master has not used points ( or chalkboard marks) i of course was quite happy about this as i was able to forget my misdoings... and at times get quite bratty ( i am ashamed of that bratty bit,) Anyhow, i waffle,  whilst clearing out my old post and discovering how many blogs i used to read on here had vanished , i found some some posts that had not been posted and posted them.. one being the one that was about quick chalk marks gained in May.... i of course made the mistake of asking Master why we did not use these any more......and yesterday afternoon i was given two in a the same amount of days.
Of course i felt somewhat pipped about it and tried to persuade Master that we didn't really need the chalk board to remake an appearance , but it is back. And whats more it is staying, because any doubts that i didn't need it were abandoned because of my silly attempts to say otherwise.

( the secret is maybe i am quite happy about this because although i hate to be punished i find that it gives me a warm safe feeling , a) that i know He is caring about me to correct me, and b) it gives me a decent length of rope. ..........i honestly didn't realise how much a diva i had got at times.
This morning when He woke, i got  a nice treat of Him taking me out , both for meal and to a car boot sale where i got loads of red  leather for a knock down price of a pound,  (drools)  The smell in our car was wonderful on the journey home as the heat made it smell yummy. Toy making here i come again. He also spent 20p on a troll for me with bright yellow hair. ( it is really a keyring , but i love it as i used to have one when i was younger....but with pink hair.)
The peacock imprint is now a pretty shade of purples , yellows and near enough blacks. and i quite like looking at it.
Hope everyone else is having such a yummy Weekend.
Hugs
saffy


the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

buy one get one free

yesterday was not the best in the start of it . .... Our husky decided to slip its leash when my son was taking her for a walk and even though a couple (who have huskies of their own) caught her for him , i realise just how lucky she was, as she got out of her head harness right near a main road. ( having  "hated" the loneliness that came with having no dong/fur baby./husky to greet and love you when we lost out first one i was filled with terror until i knew she was safe, and then came the million and one other thoughts that haunt you afterwards.. such as what if she had have caused cars to crash, etc.... )
Not a good morning for me....
This playing on my mind i struggled to focus on the most mundane of tasks and ended up losing a full day ( or at least it felt like it as i drifted from pillar to post , i ended up doing a mini meditation at the quiet spot Master has allowed me at the top of the garden .
Master obviously realised just how much i had been wound up by this because He sprung a surprise dinner on me , ( a wonderful curry at our local Indian ) and then when we got home He decided it was time to test the sandals that we had purchased the few days before. I am in love... they hurt like hell, ( that was the idea though,) they leave really good pictures of the peacocks tail on the said slapped area and i want more... ( however it was buy one get one free.... two different areas of the body tested to see how they came out) and i now have to wait for a play time... though i have a sneaky suspect that these may come out during non play days as well.
Have a good weekend all
saffy
( marks out of ten for those plastic/rubber flip flops ..... 11/10 in all places. :D )
the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .