Although i thought that i knew Master rarely checks in at my blog page, (favouring i think, verbal communication,  between myself and Him) i am conscious that on the odd occasion He does check my posts... i never know when this is going to be or whether He will approve of them, so each one that is typed out has to be thought out and has to be as if He was reading it. 
(most of the posts , i think would pass approval , and as of yet i have not had to remove any, and i think that i would like to keep it this way. )
Yesterday turned out to be a good day for the pain slut that hides inside me.... Master decided that He would give me a little teasing taster of a session in the kitchen......this included (among other things) spanking with the wooden spoon....a hard hand spanking to my backside for not answering quick enough, burns with hot water and via a teaspoon to the breasts/nipples and of course plenty of slaps for them. Boy do i feel better... yes the lethargy is still there but i feel like His girl again.  ( funny how when He doesn't touch me because i am ill that i worry subconsciously that i am not slave enough for Him anymore.)
Today has brought rain , rain and more rain, but i feel calm and loved..i hope everyone else's weekend is going so well
saffy

the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 For the last week i have been really down on myself , and yes quite cross as well. 
 Why? 
 Because it would seem that everyone who has a problem wanted and choose that week to dump it on my doorstep, and whilst normally i can deal with peoples problems for the best of the time... i found myself sinking and becoming a brat because i wasn't dealing with what they were throwing at me... and could no longer separate myself from their issues. 
Master had kept quiet throughout all of this , but on the odd occasion i saw Him glance over at me and was frowning, and of course then i wanted His approval so i started to try and add things mentally on my lists that had been given (despite orders from the Dr not to do so much) and then added tiredness to my crosspatch attitude. Not a good combination. 
At one time i begged for the cane .. (not the devil one but the one i hate) to try and punish myself , which ended up with Master telling me in no uncertain terms that He and He alone chose when i should be punished not me. :( . ( and i didn't get caned) ....In fact i got nothing but told to focus on the important things which was getting me better and of course i mentally added caring for Him on there as well....but i am not so stupid as to realise that i have be well to do this. 
So for now people with problems that have been dumping on my doorstep can talk to Master instead (lol) ( they wont because He is not a soft touch and will not give them money and fall for sob stories............the way i do. ) And i have gone back to writing again... with remembering to communicate... 
Have a good weekend all..
saffy
 



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 Hmmm, over night it would seem some google fairy's have come along and changed the way that my blog was set out to run, and being a creature of habit i am not sure if i like it or not.....
On a more upbeat not Master doled out a little pain to me , and i feel like a new woman.. all worries and cares have seemed to vanish and i am left in a fuzzy warm place of feeling loved and cared for.  It seems weird to get this feeling just over a session but it makes me complete and feel alive and vibrant. Proof... He didn't have a down girl waiting for Him, and i completed my tasks with that sensation that you get when you know that you are cared for..... (hmm should i need to have a session to feel cared for or a smacked bum.. NO, perhaps that is not written right.....) The only word i can use to describe it is that for me it is like some people feel about their make up or accessories... vulnerable.. naked.. (not in a good way) if they are made to go without them for a while... Yes you can function, but it does not feel right...Pain and maintenance is right for me ..
hugs to you all,
from a smiley happy  saffy



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

blips lie a radar showing a war invasion

 Yesterday was a blip, i lost myself and felt alone. It was over the simplest of things , but i feel really low over it . Today, i am going to turn the problem about and not allow it to take me over completely. Trouble is i feel apart of it has knocked my confidence as a submissive/slave away, (and lord knows it has taken long enough to build up) i guess i have to be thankful that M still has faith in me , in  being His partner, His slave , and His friend and build up from there , but sometimes i just wish there were more who are into my lifestyle that i could talk to around here
have a good day all
saffy



the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

 On a trip to town with Master the other day He was pleased as punch to point out several patches of stinging nettles that He saw to me .......i had said that i could not find any in the garden... Big mistake now i know where there are many... ( good job that i really like them hidden about my clothing...)
Hope all is well with all
saffy


the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

peeping in

 i was given the most beautiful gift the other day by Master... not one that cost anything in money terms, just time. What was it? ... He came and helped me to rinse my hair while i was having  a bath the other day. Why was this special to me? because it made me feel kind of humble in a way that He took time out of His day to assist me.
For months i have been suffering from alopecia, brought on by a massive dose of stress, and bath time had been quite an issue for me seeing more and more of my then long hair fall out. On Master's suggestion i had it cut and it has become easier to manage, plus while it was still shredding there didnt seem to be so much floating about.
i know that i balance my Master as much as He balances me and i am greatful that He is there so much for me , neither of U/us planned on being ill but we have had a year of it , hopefully though, that is becoming in the past and things will start to look brighter again.
hugs to all
saffy


the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another .

you know you have been tangoed.......

For weeks now i have been without a computer of my own, having to borrow Master's spare , but not liking using it for it because at the end of the day it isn't mine..... Is anything really i wonder.... See Master has never been mean to me and said that i can not have anything that i need.... wanting something is a different matter though.... For weeks i practised the art of typing in third person because He banned the word "i" and no word NO as well. Thankfully there is now a break from this , and i will appreciate now the allowance of being able to use i as a name for myself again, Never forgetting that it could be taken away just as quick..... The same with clothes, Oh i know they are mine, but, He has final say when i go clothes shopping, , but i get to have feminine classic clothes, rather than fashion, that is hip one moment and not so much the next..( and no i am not complaining i like to wear nice things that suit me)
i realise that He is always looking out for my interests , and He never ceases to surprise me with gifts of  things like flowers, days out, classical music that i love, and sometimes candy. This doesn't make me spoilt, but it does make me feel like the most loved and protected girl on this earth, and all i have to do in return is submit to Him and balance......W/we make a good whole and i am a lucky girl to have this Man in my life. 
The latest surprise to come my way is a bright orange and black P.C. ( nick named tango by B/both of U/us ) which He and i am to pick up tomorrow... hopefully then my friends i will be able to feel more comfortable to blog more and keep this journal up to date. 
Hope you are all well this lovely spring day......
hugs... saffy




the light of a candle is never lessened by lighting another